Trial and Sacrifice
by Maddy Lake Deep
Summary: Sequel to "Fragile Choices" Frodo must continue his quest to destroy the ring, but will his marriage to Tansy survive the evil that has come between them? AU. FrodoOC. Complete
1. Waiting for you

> **_Trial and Sacrifice_**
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Author's note: Okay everyone (takes a deep breath) here's the first chapter. I know you really enjoyed "Fragile Choices" and so I hope you enjoy the sequel as well. Again, I'm so grateful for your feedback that has encouraged me to continue this. Any constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated!Disclaimer: Tolkien's characters aren't mine. I don't own some of Peter Jackson's dialogue that I included in this chapter either, but Tansy is my creation.Rating: PG-13**Warning: Major angst!****   
  
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_Chapter One:** Waiting for you**__"I will take the ring to Mordor, though I do not know the way..."  
_  
Frodo grimaced at those words.  
  
On a brisk, October day, he stood at the open window of his room inside the House of Elrond. Gazing at the wondrous beauty of Rivendell, Frodo drew in a deep breath, a frustrated one while he recalled the events of the council that had taken place an hour ago. The bickering about what was to be done with the ring. And no matter how much he talked himself into thinking someone else could take the ring to Mordor, he knew within his heart that this ring had now become his burden to carry.  
  
He closed his eyes, squeezing them shut.  
  
_"I must get this ring away from the shire. I won't be long..."_  
  
He winced at the memory of a promise he could not keep to Tansy and at the slight pain of the healed wound on the left side of his shoulder. Frodo wished he could forget that dreadful night at Weathertop when a morgul blade, which the Black Riders carried with them, had stabbed him. He had been very grateful to Elrond for healing him. Still, every now and then, the wound would tingle slightly, and the memory of that night relentlessly haunted him.  
  
_Tansy, if only I can be in your arms again.  
  
Smell the sweet strawberries on your skin.  
  
You're holding me and everything is like it was...  
  
_"Mr. Frodo?"  
  
Frodo's eyes fluttered open, as if he suddenly awoke from a pleasant dream. He turned and faced his gardener who was behind him.  
  
"Sam? How long have you been standing there?"  
  
"Not long, only a few minutes." Sam let out a dejected sigh and then he added, "I know you hoped to get back to the Shire. So did I. I was thinking about Tansy...and Rosie."  
  
Slowly, Frodo shook his head. "Sam, I told her I would come back soon. Now that I'm not, she will hate me."  
  
"Oh, Mr. Frodo, I don't think she'll hate you."  
  
Frightened, Frodo went on to say, "What if she does? I would not blame her. We were married and now I'm gone."  
  
"But you had no choice. The ring, Mr. Frodo--,"  
  
"I know!" Frodo snapped, then after realizing he vented his frustrations toward Sam, he composed himself, speaking softly. "I'm sorry, Sam. You must understand, I don't know what will happen to us. And if something does happen, what about Tansy? Who will take care of her?"  
  
Frodo turned away from Sam and gazed out the window again.  
  
"Who will take care of her?"It seemed to Rosie, from the brisk chill of the November air, that an early winter would once again assault the Shire with its icy fury. She was also concerned about Tansy who had become a recluse at Bag End, which ignited more gossip of her being queer. Rosie stopped at the door of the Baggins' hole and as her finger reached out to ring the bell, she hesitated. The door was slightly ajar.  
  
Alarmed and cautious, Rosie opened the door and entered the parlor that was pleasantly warmed by the fire beneath the mantle. She walked toward the fireplace, but no sign of Tansy. And then...muffled footsteps halted behind her. Rosie spun on the heels of her furry feet.  
  
"Tansy?"  
  
Rosie's eyes were wide with much concern at the sight of her friend who appeared very anemic. Rather stout before, now Tansy had lost a considerable amount of weight. She took slow, languid steps toward the chair in front of the fireplace. An emerald-green crocheted shawl, which she had made, was wrapped around her shoulders. Her auburn hair, usually pinned up, fell lifelessly against the chalk-white skin of her face.  
  
"Tansy, the door was open..." Rosie's voice faltered when she noticed her friend seemed oblivious of her presence or anything around her as she sat down in the chair and stared at the fire.  
  
Rosie seated herself in the chair beside Tansy.  
  
"Tansy, did you hear anything I've said?"  
  
Tansy nodded, and then she shot a pensive, almost bitter gaze at the golden-haired lass.  
  
"I know the folk gossip about me. And I hear their questions about Frodo...where did he go?"  
  
"From what I heard, he went off to find Bilbo. Is that true?"  
  
Reluctant to answer, Tansy nodded again. "Yes," she said, uncomfortable with lying to Rosie but having no choice.  
  
"He'll come back."  
  
"That's what Gandalf said," Tansy remarked flatly. "And so did Frodo. He told me, I won't be long."  
  
"It's only November, Tansy." Rosie reached for Tansy's hand. She took it into her own, squeezing it gently. "Please, don't give up on him now. And don't give up on yourself or the child you're carrying. You never go out. You don't eat much. You must eat to keep up your strength."  
  
"I'm all right," said Tansy through clenched teeth, jerking her hand out of Rosie's grip. Her eyes fleeted back to the flames.  
  
Rosie examined the way Tansy's left hand gripped the armrest of the chair.  
  
Fire-light danced upon her face and disclosed a thin layer of sweat that glossed her cheeks.  
  
"Tansy, something's wrong."  
  
Tansy could no longer hide the pain from Rosie. Her hand clutched onto her stomach and a resounding wail blared from her lips, piercing the atmosphere around them.  
  
Rosie leapt from the chair and rushed over to Tansy who suddenly collapsed in her arms."How is she?" asked Lily, hanging her cloak onto the peg and joined her daughter inside the Baggins' parlor.  
  
"Not that well I'm afraid," Rosie uttered gravely. She breathed and stood by the mantle, looking down at the fire.  
  
"Was the doctor here?"  
  
Rosie nodded.  
  
Lily crossed over to Rosie and faced her. "What did he say?"  
  
"She's been under a lot of stress from Frodo leaving and all. She hasn't been eating much either. The doctor said she has to remain in bed until the baby is born or else she'll lose it."  
  
"Oh gracious, no. I can not believe this is happening." She shook her head. "First Bilbo leaves and then Frodo. If indeed he left to find out what happened to his uncle, I can understand but leaving Tansy here this long?" She caught herself in the middle of rambling, stopped to breathe and continued. "Is it all right to see her?"  
  
"Yes, we can see her."Tansy lay in bed. Too weak to do anything, she could only manage to turn her head a little to the right where she saw Frodo in his nightshirt and sitting at the desk. Her eyes narrowed, wondering what he was writing.  
  
"What are you doing?" she whispered in her usual raspy voice.  
  
"Oh, just keeping a journal of our wedding day," said Frodo while he focused on writing. "And not just that day. There's so much to write about. But for now, I've written enough."  
  
Frodo dunked the quill back into the ink jar. "I'm not feeling well," Tansy said to him.  
  
His head whirled toward her and his expression was quite fretful.  
  
"You're not?"  
  
He kept his eyes on Tansy while closing the mahogany book, and then he left the desk.  
  
"What is it?" asked Frodo.  
  
Tansy watched him and to her eyes he seemed to glide toward her, as if for that moment time seemed to be coming to a slow halt.  
  
Muffled footsteps stopped at the door. By then, Frodo had faded—just another mirage of her imagination.  
  
She turned her head to see Lily enter the room alongside Rosie.  
  
"Tansy?" said Lily softly as she sat down in a chair beside the bed. "You gave us such a fright, dear. You know what the doctor said don't you?"  
  
Very slowly, Tansy nodded.  
  
"Well then, it's of the utmost importance that you listen to him."  
  
Rosie inched closer to the bed. "Tansy, did you tell your parents about all this?  
  
Tansy wet her parched lips. "They know I'm pregnant, but...they don't know about Frodo leaving the Shire. They can't know. They would never forgive him for doing such a thing."  
  
Lily spotted the shawl that lay across the oak wood chest at the bottom of the bed.  
  
"That shawl, it's very beautiful. You made it?"  
  
Tansy nodded, forcing a weak smile on her lips.  
  
"When you're better, you should make more. I would love one of those to keep me warm on cold days. It can get quite drafty, especially when I'm away from the fireplace."  
  
Again, Tansy only smiled.  
  
"How is the pain?" Lily inquired.  
  
"It's gone now. It seems me resting in bed has done some good."  
  
"And in bed you'll stay. Rosie will take care of you so you won't be alone here anymore. I best be on my way now." She stood from the chair. "And remember, everything will be all right if you do what the doctor instructed."  
  
Rosie bid farewell by giving her mother a hardy hug and when Lily left, Rosie stayed beside Tansy.  
  
Overwhelmed with dread and uncertainty, Tansy grabbed the barmaid's hand.  
  
"Rosie," she mumbled. "I'm going mad."  
  
"Going mad? Whatever do you mean?"  
  
"I see Frodo. I know he isn't here, but I see him so clearly. Now do you understand? That's why I fear I'm going mad."  
  
Rosie hoisted her legs onto the side of the bed and snuggled next to Tansy.  
  
"You won't go mad," she said with an assurance that she hoped had comforted her friend. "He'll come back. I know he will." When Rosie recalled the happy times she talked to Sam, danced with him, realizing that she had loved him, she added, "And I know Sam will come back, too."Once again, winter mercilessly battered the Shire with an onslaught of frigid winds and snow. Each day, from December into February of the year 3019, Tansy waited for Frodo. Still there was no sign of his return. She lay in bed, watching the wind-driven snow pelt against the window.  
  
_He'll come back.  
  
You fool, how long will you wait?  
  
He's not coming back.  
  
He's dead, Tansy. Wouldn't he be here by now if he were still alive?  
  
You're going to lose the baby. Something's wrong. Don't you know?  
_  
Tansy cursed the badgering voices until they decided to grant her a moment of reprieve. She carefully turned onto her side, snuggling under many blankets to keep warm. Grinding her teeth from the throbbing pain that gnawed its way from left to the right side of her abdomen; Tansy sank her face into the pillow. Her cries were muffled and only groans could be heard amidst the howling winds outside the window.After what seemed like a long, treacherous winter, March brought its comforting warmth to the land known as Ithilien. Although at night, March had deceived Frodo and Sam who huddled under their Elven cloaks to keep warm. Frodo slept restlessly and jolted awake by the mutterings of Gollum sitting on a rock beside a stream. He lifted his head a little, peeking at the pitiful creature whom at one time had a home, had a name—Smeagol—hobbit-like in nature and unscathed then.  
  
He continued to watch Smeagol. Suddenly Frodo shivered, not only from the cold, but also from what he saw to be a mirrored image of himself, rather, what he feared he would become.  
  
Frodo peered over his shoulder at Sam sleeping beside him. He was careful not to disturb him. Any sudden sound and he knew Sam would be up, alert and ready to protect him from danger. Of course he wasn't against Sam doing any of those things, he just wanted him to sleep peacefully. One thing bothered him, what had happened earlier. Sam calling Smeagol names. Stinker he said to him. Frodo tried to ignore the conversation he had with Sam and the shame he felt when he argued with his best friend.  
  
_Stinker...  
  
"Because," said Sam, "that's what he is Mr. Frodo. There's naught left in him but lies and deceit. It's the ring he wants. It's all he cares about."  
  
Defending Smeagol and himself, Frodo answered, "You have no idea what it did to him. What it's still doing to him. I want to help him, Sam."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I believe he can come back."  
  
"You can not save him, Mr. Frodo."  
  
Anger burned across Frodo's face and his blue eyes became icy, almost cryptic. "What do you know about it? Nothing!" Realizing he screamed at his friend, something unusual for him, Frodo lowered his voice.  
  
"I'm sorry, Sam. I don't know why I said that."  
  
Alarmed and very concerned, Sam replied, "I do. It's the ring. You can't take your eyes off of it. I've seen you. You're not eating. You barely sleep. It's taking a hold of you, Mr. Frodo. You have to fight it..."  
  
_Returning to the present, Frodo opened his hand and on his palm lay the ring.  
  
He stared, mesmerized as his finger slowly circled the gold metal.  
  
_My own...my precious.  
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At that moment, nothing else mattered. Everything had become still when the ring called him.  
  
His eyes fluttered shut.  
  
_Calling...  
  
_Several dots of sweat materialized beneath his curly bangs.  
  
By then, Smeagol's mutterings had faded. The only sounds Frodo heard was his own uneven breathing and his racing heart that pummeled madly against his chest.  
  
_"You have to fight it!"  
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"I can't," Frodo screamed to himself. "It's taken me--,"  
  
_"I love you, Frodo. Don't you forget..."  
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The sweet, gentle voice jarred him back to where he lay beside Sam. He trembled. His eyes were wide and glossy. Sweat now morphed from dots to salty trails peeking from beneath his bangs.  
  
"Tansy!" cried Frodo, not loud enough to disturb Sam, but Smeagol heard.  
  
Smeagol's bulging eyes stared at whom he now called Master.  
  
Frodo gazed back at him. He knew Smeagol had been aware of what he was going through. And as they drew closer to Mordor, Frodo found himself teetering on the edge of insanity.  
  
Possessed by the madness of the ring.  
  
Torn between his love for it and for Tansy.  
  
Frodo turned away from Smeagol. He huddled into a fetal position, trembling and silently he cried.Rosie dipped one of the plates into a bucket of water. When she saw that it was thoroughly clean, she took a cloth and as she dried the plate, a shrilling cry roared through her ears. Startled, the plate slipped out of her hands, crashed onto the floor and shattered into fragmented chunks of porcelain.  
  
Rosie dashed out of the kitchen and sped down the hall. In a panic, she stormed into Tansy's room.  
  
Mrs. Baggins' quivering hand reached out for her as Rosie rushed to her bedside. She grasped Tansy's hand, so pale and hot to the touch. Her hair was a tangled mess and damp from sweat she bathed in. And her facial features were twisted from the agonizing pain.  
  
Tansy's almond shaped eyes widened with delirium as she tightened her grip on Rosie's hand. She bit down on the bottom of her crusty lip that bled in between the cracks.  
  
"Tansy," said a terrified Rosie. "I need to get the doctor."  
  
Tansy mustered the strength to lift her head slightly from the pillow.  
  
"Frodo," she struggled. "Where—is—he? You must—tell him."  
  
Rosie shook her head. Tears seeped from the corners of her eyes.  
  
"He's not here, Tansy."  
  
Tansy hollered again.  
  
Helpless and fearing she would lose her best friend, Rosie held Tansy's face against her chest.  
  
"I'll get the doctor," she cried. "Hang on, please, Tansy...hang on now."TBCA/N: Struggled with this because it's the first chapter of the sequel. I'm like, OMG, I don't want to disappoint you guys. So please let me know what you think?


	2. If Only

> Author's note: I know this chapter is short but there will be more in the next one. Thank you! Thank you! I'm soooo grateful for your reviews that always brings a smile on my face. And I'm glad that so far you're enjoying the sequel as much as "Fragile Choices" You guys are wonderful!
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> Disclaimer: I don't own Tolkien's characters. Neither do I own some of his dialogue or Peter Jackson's dialogue. Of course I own Tansy and Calla.**Warning: Dark themes and angst******

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_Chapter two: __**If Only  
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> "What are you thinking about?"  
  
Tansy whispered the words into Frodo's ear.  
  
She expected him to answer, but he remained silent while sitting against the apple tree. For some time now he had been resting the back of his head onto the wood. His eyes closed as if he were sleeping and enjoying a pleasant dream.  
  
Her lips brushed along the tip of his ear.  
  
"Frodo, tell me," she whispered again.  
  
"Tansy," he began softly, keeping his eyes shut. "I'm enjoying the time we have together."  
  
A dreamy smile softened her lips. "So am I."  
  
Frodo continued. "Though I know we don't have much time."  
  
Puzzled, Tansy stared at Frodo. A warm breeze wafted by. Gentle it was, lifting his curly bangs that lay across his forehead. And when the breeze had gone, it kindly released his bangs that fell back onto his skin.  
  
"Frodo, what do you mean by, 'we don't have much time?'"  
  
He opened his eyes that locked onto her worried gaze.  
  
"Oh, Tansy," he uttered regrettably. "I wish I could stay longer."  
  
"You can," she insisted. "Why do you have to leave? Stay with me."  
  
Tansy's forehead fell forward onto his. "Stay."  
  
Frodo cradled the right side of her face in his hand.  
  
"I want to but I can't. Rosie, she's here and now I must go."  
  
"No," Tansy pleaded. "I don't want you to leave again!"  
  
"It's all right," Frodo hesitated, comforting her with one of his reassuring smiles. "Rosie has something to tell you."  
  
Disappointed about him leaving again, Tansy's gaze drifted down onto her lap. When her eyes leapt to meet him once more, he had gone.  
  
"Tansy..."  
  
She heard Rosie's voice calling her in the distance. For that moment Tansy chose to ignore the barmaid while hot tears stung her eyes.  
  
And then she was suddenly nudged by Frodo's words.  
  
_"Rosie has something to tell you..."___

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Very slowly, Tansy turned her head to the left. Sitting on a chair at her bedside was Miss Cotton.  
  
Rosie smiled. "You're awake."  
  
Groggy and bewildered, Tansy squinted at her friend. "I thought you were outside--," Her voice slurred. "In the woods?"  
  
"In the woods?" said Rosie, puzzled, and after realizing what had happened she smiled again. "You had a dream is all."  
  
Tansy's gaze left Rosie. Still very disoriented, she looked around her room as if it was unrecognizable, then her attention fell back onto Rosie.  
  
"How long have I been sleeping?" Tansy asked weakly.  
  
"Actually," Rosie began, "you've been unconscious for a few days now. Mum and I, we were very worried about you."  
  
Suddenly she remembered something...the baby. Her hand rummaged under the covers and glided over her abdomen no longer swollen.  
  
_"Rosie has something to tell you..."  
  
_Tansy's sunken eyes that were half-closed had now awaken, wide with fear.  
  
"The baby...where--,"  
  
"She's sleeping."  
  
"She?"  
  
Rosie nodded. She leaned forward, brushing away a few matted strands of Tansy's hair that stuck onto the sides of her face.  
  
The barmaid went on to say, "She was born early than expected and for some time we feared she would not make it, but she's holding on!"  
  
Tansy grinned, a weak one she managed to show Rosie. But then her lips quivered and she gave in to the tears that streamed down her pale cheeks.  
  
"I—I thought I lost the baby, but she—she's alive!"  
  
Rosie nodded and again she leaned forward to give Tansy a warm, comforting hug.  
  
"Right now she needs to rest and then you can see her."  
  
Rosie broke away from the embrace. She glanced at Tansy's hair, thinking for a moment.  
  
"Hmm...your hair needs a good brushing."  
  
Miss Cotton moved over to the bed, sitting on its edge. She gently lifted Tansy a little, supporting her back with her left hand while the other propped two pillows. Then Rosie carefully guided Tansy back against the pillows.  
  
"Are you hungry?" Rosie inquired while her hand reached onto the night table for the brush and comb.  
  
"A little," said Tansy.  
  
"What about chicken soup?"  
  
"I would like that."  
  
"First," said Rosie, "I need to get these tangles out."  
  
She chose the comb first. Her fingers entwined themselves around the silver handle, then Rosie delicately combed through the tangles.  
  
"Does it hurt?" she asked, trying her best to be gentle.  
  
"No."  
  
After Rosie successfully untangled Tansy's curls, she picked up the brush and started at the hairline.  
  
Tansy's eyes rolled shut. The grooming soothed her. She was thankful for the way Rosie swept the brush from her hairline down to the bottom of her curls.  
  
"Calla," Tansy whispered.  
  
Rosie halted in the middle of brushing. "Did you say something?"  
  
"Calla," she repeated, this time it was more audible. "That will be her name...the baby."  
  
Rosie grinned. "That's a beautiful name."  
  
She continued to brush Tansy's hair for a little while longer until Mrs. Baggins turned her face toward Rosie.  
  
"I know you said she's sleeping but please, I need to see her."  
  
Rosie silently conceded Tansy's request with a smile and nod.  
  
When Miss Cotton left, Tansy waited. Her heart pounded frantically in anticipation of seeing her child. Rosie returned through the open door. Tansy perked at the sight of the baby wrapped in a small, sunflower yellow blanket. She eagerly reached for the baby that had been cradled in her arms. And when she looked up at Rosie, her friend granted her wish to be alone, leaving the room.  
  
Tansy stared at the tiny form—Calla who slept so peacefully in her arms. A thin layer of wavy red hair graced Calla's head and could be seen in the hazy sunlight. Still, it shocked her to be looking at a baby. Something Tansy never dreamed she would have. Never thinking she could have anything. Ecstatic and then her happiness had been snatched away by a deep sorrow that weighed heavily in her heart.  
  
_Frodo.  
_  
Tansy lay her face against Calla's soft cheek.  
  
"Frodo," she whispered aloud. "If only you can see your child, and you were here with me. I know you would be happy."  
  
At those words, she lovingly rocked Calla in her arms.A few weeks had passed since that day. Tansy regained her strength, keeping herself busy with crocheting shawls and blankets. And with spring approaching, she even made flower crowns for lasses to wear on special days, events and especially for weddings. Coming out of seclusion, she often sold what she made at the market. And if someone couldn't afford it, she would offer it for free. She was only able to do these things on days when Rosie took care of Calla. At night is when she was alone, sitting in the parlor, holding Calla, desperately holding onto hope that Frodo would return. What terrified her was...she didn't know how long she could hold on.  
  
After a restless night, Tansy begged for the morning to come, and when she saw a splinter of powder blue light through the window, she welcomed it gratefully. At mid-day, Tansy paced nervously around the parlor with Calla in her arms. No matter what she did...feed her, talk to her, rock her, nothing seemed to stop Calla's relentless cries.  
  
"Ohh...what is it?" said Tansy helplessly, wishing Rosie was there to help. But she had other errands to do that day. "Calla, what's wrong? Please, stop crying!"  
  
_If only you were here with me. If only...  
_  
Over and over she screamed to herself. It was unfair. This trial she never thought she had to endure. A test she did not want. A test she could not pass.  
  
Anger seethed within her, impairing her mind to think rationally.  
  
As if in a daze, Tansy shuffled inside the kitchen. She stopped at the pantry where several knives were stored. She held a whimpering Calla in the cradle of her left arm. With her free hand, Tansy opened the oak wood doors of the pantry and reached for the sharpest knife. She grasped it, holding it up only a few inches from her eyes. Spotless. All the knives were when you looked at them closely. This one reflected bitterness that marred Tansy's face—a face that at one time showed no worries or evidence of a battle weary lass.  
  
It would be quick. No more pain. No more dread and feeling so alone.  
  
_What are you doing?  
_  
No more trials.  
  
_What are you doing?  
_  
Those words slapped her hobbit sense back into gear.  
  
The knife trembled in her hand.  
  
Realizing the horror of what she was tempted to do, Tansy dropped the knife that clanked when striking the floor. She stumbled back against the kitchen table and fell down into one of the chairs.  
  
Tansy looked down at Calla whose eyes was a striking resemblance, water-blue like Frodo's eyes.  
  
A glimmer of hope had returned when she stared into those eyes. It was then, Tansy embraced Calla tightly against her chest, sobbing, rocking herself and the baby whose cries were suddenly hushed.On that same day, Frodo and Sam struggled as they clambered their way up the stifling, rocky terrain of Mount Doom. Weary and disoriented, Frodo collapsed onto the ground. The weight of the ring was like an immense pressure on his chest, pulling him down, down until he could go no further. Once he had been able to resist, now his mind and soul had been consumed by a monstrous evil. Everything he knew and loved seemed to be only a distant memory.  
  
Sam continued toward his master, crawling beside him. He slid his hand beneath Frodo's back and gently lifted his frail, scarred body into the shelter of his arms.  
  
"Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It'll be spring soon and the orchids will be in blossom. The birds will be nesting in the hazel thickets and they'll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields."  
  
Frodo opened his eyes wide with delirium. And though his beloved Sam was there, he stared at him in confusion, as if he no longer recognized his best friend.  
  
Sam continued. "And eating first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries? Do you remember Tansy and how she loved them?"  
  
"Tansy?"  
  
Frodo grimaced, trying desperately to remember his wife. Her sweet smile. The love they shared together. But every time an image of her impressed itself into his mind, it had been replaced with the dreadful flaming eye.  
  
He nodded. "No, Sam. I can't recall...her. I can't recall the taste of food, nor the sound of water or the touch of grass. I'm naked in the dark. There's nothing...no veil between me and the wheel of fire. I can see him with my waking eyes!"  
  
Determined and fed up with the ring, Sam replied, "Then let us be rid of it..."How can anyone forget something like that?  
  
Sam often asked himself that question, like he did now while sitting on the bed inside a room that was momentarily dark when Sam recalled the horrible memories of Mount Doom. Returning to the present, sunlight chased the darkness away along with that dreadful day. At first, when he had awakened, he did not know where he was until Gandalf reminded him, they were back in Ithilien.  
  
The nightmare was over. The ring is destroyed. But...  
  
Sam looked down at Frodo who lay awake. His head propped against soft, billowy pillows. His right hand atop the covers was clearly seen in the sunlight. The missing third finger.  
  
Sam found himself on the verge of tears despite the joy of the ring gone, out of their lives. Frodo suffered so much, what he wished his master never had to endure.  
  
"Sam," said Frodo dejectedly.  
  
"Yes, Mr. Frodo?"  
  
"I'll never forgive myself for forgetting Tansy."  
  
"Don't go beating up on yourself, Mr. Frodo. It was the ring keeping you from remembering anything, even Tansy."  
  
Frodo appreciated Sam's understanding and his comforting words. Nevertheless, he shook his head.  
  
"Sam," Frodo looked up into his gardener's hazel eyes. "I promised her I would never forget. I promised I would come back soon. No, I can never forgive myself."  
  
"Mr. Frodo--,"  
  
"No, Sam. I can't."  
  
Sam sighed deeply and rested his head onto Frodo's left shoulder.  
  
"I know she still loves you, Mr. Frodo. And when we get back home, I'm gonna tell Rosie how I feel about her."  
  
"Home?" said Frodo, as if the conversation had been a dream, and any moment he would awaken back in the darkness of Mordor.  
  
"Yeah," answered Sam. "We're going back soon."  
  
Frodo swallowed hard against his parched throat.  
  
_I'm happy we're going home. But why I'm I afraid?  
  
_Frodo forced a smile on his lips. "I never thought we would ever see the Shire again, Sam. Yes, I miss it very much."  
  
He leaned his head against Sam's golden hair.  
  
Frodo whispered, "Home."
> 
> TBC
> 
> **A/N: Hit that button and let me know what you think because there's more to come!**


	3. Home

> **Author's note: I was exhausted when I wrote this so I hope you enjoy it as much as the other chapters. Again I thank you all for your reviews and encouragement!  
**
> 
> Disclaimer: Don't own Tolkien's characters or anything in Middle-earth. He's the genius behind all this, not me. I only own Tansy and Calla.Chapter three: **_Home_  
**The October air had been still. And yet, the four hobbits felt its chill, especially when the sun would hide momentarily behind numerous clouds. They rode on their ponies toward the Mill Bridge, toward Hobbiton. They peeked at one another and anticipating the stunned reactions from the folk. They would look very queer in the velvet tunics and cloaks they wore. But looking queer was far from their minds. Rather, they felt quite regal...well, Merry, Pippin and Sam that is. Frodo on the other hand, his mind had been occupied with other things besides what he was wearing.  
  
_Tansy...  
  
Will I see your beautiful smile when you see me?  
  
The strawberries, I remember them now. Will I smell them on your skin?  
  
_Frodo peeked sorrowfully at his missing finger.  
  
_Will you want to touch me or hold my hand again?  
_  
Just as they were about to cross the bridge, Frodo halted on his pony.  
  
The three hobbits, when they noticed Frodo lagged behind, also hesitated.  
  
"Frodo?" said Pippin.  
  
He examined Frodo's reluctant expression and comforted him with a warm, reassuring grin.  
  
That's all Frodo needed, just a smile to gently nudge him out of the fright that held him prisoner for a moment. He dearly appreciated his cousin's support by smiling back and when Frodo continued onward to the bridge, the three hobbits followed behind him."You like it don't you?" Tansy asked Calla.  
  
She sat on the floor, legs crossed beneath her pink and burgundy dress.  
  
Calla sat in front of her. The seven-month old wobbled, struggling to sit up while shaking a spoon shaped rattle in her tiny hand.  
  
Tansy made sure she wasn't too far and caught Calla every time her daughter swayed to the side or teetered backwards.  
  
Calla's hair, no longer a thin layer of waves had morphed into fiery curls that spiraled down to the nape of her neck. Some twined themselves around her ears. Her wide Caribbean blue eyes gleamed and her cheeks radiated a healthy pink glow. Tansy could not believe she was staring at her daughter born prematurely, recalling the time when she had been emaciated and near death. But Calla held on. She survived.  
  
Now here she was, giggling at Tansy and joyfully shaking the rattle.  
  
"Yes, I see you like it very much," said Tansy about the rattle she brought at the market a few days ago.  
  
Calla stopped shaking the rattle. Something distracted her. Calla's demure fingers stretched toward the pendant around Tansy's neck. And when Calla accomplished what she struggled to do, her fingers grasped onto the rose pendant.  
  
Tansy sniffed back her tears and smiled. "Yes, it's something your father gave me. I see you like that, too."  
  
Calla looked up at Tansy and giggled again.  
  
The doorbell...several frantic chimes startled Tansy from playtime she enjoyed with her daughter. Tansy swept Calla into her arms, dashed out of the room and scuttled toward the door.  
  
"Who is it?" she shouted harshly for a reason. Tansy needed to protect herself when alone, especially when Lobeila snooped around. And so she wondered who stood outside, ringing the bell like a maniac.  
  
"Who is it?" Tansy repeated.  
  
"It's me, Tansy!"  
  
"Rosie?"  
  
With her right hand, Tansy opened the door and when Rosie barged inside, Mrs. Baggins could not help but question Rosie's urgent visit.  
  
"Rosie, what—what's wrong?" she asked the panting, wide-eyed barmaid. "You're shaking. What's happened?"  
  
"Tansy," Rosie began breathlessly. "They're back."  
  
"Rosie, what are you babbling about?"  
  
"Merry, Pippin, Sam...and...Frodo."  
  
Tansy's heart felt like it suddenly froze; as a matter of fact, her entire body stiffened where she stood. Very slowly, Tansy shook her head in disbelief.  
  
"No," she whispered.  
  
Rosie nodded excitedly. "Yes, he's back. They stopped by the farm and at first I thought me eyes were tricking me. I said to myself, Rosie you're seeing things now?" She paused and shook her head with a smile. "Then I said, no, you're not seeing things. They're home! I had to rush here to tell you!"  
  
Tansy turned away from Rosie and stumbled into the parlor.  
  
"They're home," she muttered. "Frodo?"  
  
Tansy plopped down into the chair by the fireplace. Shocked by the incredible news, she gazed down at Calla whose hand clung onto the ruffled collar of her dress. Then her teary eyes looked up, staring ahead at the fireplace. Her thoughts still processing the news that Frodo was indeed home.  
  
An hour had passed, and during that hour, Tansy sat inside the bedroom. Waiting anxiously. Her sweaty hands clenched together upon her lap.  
  
Waiting.  
  
Rosie flung the door open. Calla secured in her arms.  
  
Tansy gasped. Her eyes shot up to meet Rosie standing in the hall.  
  
Miss Cotton announced cheerily, "He's here! I saw him outside at the gate."  
  
Tansy took small, timid steps out into the hall.  
  
"Wait inside the room," Tansy instructed. "I don't want him to see Calla yet until it's the right time."  
  
Rosie nodded.  
  
Tansy continued down the tunneled hall—a seemingly never-ending hall. Her hands rolled tightly, so tight they were that the color had been drained, leaving pale fists clinging at her sides.  
  
Her heart raced and hammered against her chest as she entered the parlor and stopped near the window. She peeked through the circle and saw Frodo edging reluctantly toward the steps. Tansy sprang away from the window. She leaned against the wall and shut her eyes.  
  
"No," Tansy whispered aloud. "You're not there. It's happening again. I would see you but you weren't really there. You're not there now."  
  
_He is there. Go, Tansy. Go to him.  
_  
Tansy's legs refused to cooperate, shaking as if they were about to collapse beneath her. She pushed herself onward to the door and when she slowly opened it, all that anyone could see were her cinnamon eyes peeking through the tiny space.  
  
When he caught a glimpse of Tansy, Frodo halted at the top of the steps. Fear and excitement stirred his heart drumming and pulsating through every vein in his body. He trembled slightly at the sight of her stumbling toward him. Frodo hid his right hand behind his back. And as she stepped closer, he still could not believe his eyes were gazing upon the beautiful face he missed terribly.  
  
Tansy's quivering fingers reached for his face. She snapped her hand away, fearing he was just another illusion. Tansy threw her hand against her lips and on the verge of tears. Then she tried again. This time her hand inched toward his cloak. The tips of her fingers gently touched black velvet. Now both hands glided up the sides of his cloak, along his neck and onto his face.  
  
"Frodo?" her voice wavered, "You're not a—dream?"  
  
"No, Tansy," said Frodo softly. His left hand grasped her wrist and as he laid the side of his face onto her hand, he continued on. "It's real. I'm here. I'm home."  
  
"You won't go away," she rambled, "you—you won't leave again?"  
  
Choked up with tears, Frodo could not speak but only shook his head.  
  
Gingerly, Tansy circled her arms around him and when she realized he wasn't a figment of her imagination, she collapsed against him.  
  
"Frodo!" His name had burst from her lips along with tears steaming down her cheeks.  
  
Frodo tightened his embrace. When her scent wafted into his nostrils, he recalled what Sam asked him.  
  
_"Do you remember the taste of strawberries? Do you remember Tansy and how she loved them?"  
_  
"Tansy," he cried and held her tighter. Afraid to let go. If he did, he would lose her again. But he let go, just a little to gaze lovingly into her eyes.  
  
A tear snaked its way onto her mouth. He smeared it away and then his finger traced the contour of the full lips he hungered for so long. Frodo caressed her skin with soft kisses along her cheekbone.  
  
His eyes shut. He whispered, "I missed you so much."  
  
Frodo's lips touched the corner of her mouth. "And I love you."  
  
It was no longer just a distant memory...her lips had been devoured into his.  
  
Tansy sobbed and trembled in his arms, savoring his lips she never thought she would feel again. Wanting him. And when it seemed they were getting carried away in the tumultuous moment, she broke the kiss to breathe.  
  
Tansy cupped his face into her hands. "Frodo, there was never a day I didn't miss you, love you or forget you."  
  
Frodo cringed at the rest of the conversation that day at Mount Doom.  
  
_"Do you remember Tansy?"  
  
"Tansy? No, Sam, I can't recall...her."  
_  
Frodo stared into her eyes and silently he said these words,  
  
_"I tried to remember you, but he was there, always there!"  
  
_"Frodo? What is it?"  
  
"I—I'm so happy to see you."  
  
Tansy gave him one of her warm, endearing smiles and then her fingers reached for his left hand. They walked toward the door; holding hands like they had often done before he left the Shire, before the madness.  
  
Frodo stepped into the airy parlor. Every nook and cranny he could see was spotless. The smell of oak wood and the sight of earthy colors that warmed his hobbit hole jarred his memories. The cozy fireplace where he sat and enjoyed his chats with Bilbo, then with Tansy after they were married. And for a moment he imagined the aroma of chicken, bacon and mushrooms.  
  
"I--," Tansy began, "I wanted it to be like it was...before you left."  
  
Frodo awarded her efforts with one of his charming smiles.  
  
"I know. You always wanted to make sure everything was in order."  
  
Tansy tried to shrug the uneasiness she felt despite her joy of seeing Frodo. He seemed different, almost distant. Even his face appeared gaunt, not as healthy before he left for the quest. It was as if his life, the simple, happy life of an innocent hobbit had been painfully drained during the time he was gone. She pushed her thoughts aside and would not think about it again. He was home. That's all that mattered now. And there was something else.  
  
"Uh—Frodo?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"There's someone you should see," she said carefully, concerned about his reaction at seeing Calla. "I'll be back."  
  
Frodo waited. Curiosity scrunched his brows.  
  
_Who is this person she wants me to meet?  
  
_He heard her shuffle back into the hall and when she entered the parlor, he noticed Rosie stood in the distance. His puzzled eyes darted back to Tansy coming toward him with what looked like a baby nestled in her arms.  
  
"Who--," Frodo started, looking back at Miss Cotton again.  
  
_Is it Rosie's baby? No, it can't be...but...  
  
_"Frodo?" said Tansy, gently demanding his attention.  
  
This time he gave her his attention she desperately needed. And sensing what Tansy would say next, he swallowed hard against his throat suddenly dry.  
  
"Tansy, who does the baby belong too?"  
  
Tansy drew in a deep breath. "Her name is Calla. Frodo, she's our daughter."  
  
His eyes widened in shock of what he heard. Overwhelmed and reeling from everything happening too quickly after returning to Bag End.  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes. She's our child."  
  
Tansy turned Calla toward him. He stared in awe at the baby who had been blessed with red hair, a combination of Tansy's auburn locks and his brown curls. Then there were Calla's eyes. He knew those eyes, as if he was staring at a reflection of the past, of himself as a child.  
  
Calla looked up at him. Frightened, she turned away and clung onto Tansy's dress.  
  
Suddenly a flashback seized Frodo. Memories of a dream he had once of a young lass.  
  
_He was at the market. He saw her...a young lass left behind while her mother went off to look at what the other vendors were selling.  
  
She stared at him with eyes as blue as the sky on a cloudless summer day.  
  
"I know you," he whispered to her.  
  
She shook her head and stepped backwards.  
  
"Yes," Frodo insisted, "I know you. Don't be frightened."  
  
The lass spun around and ran back to her mother.  
  
"No," shouted Frodo. "Don't go. I won't hurt you..."  
  
_"No," he repeated, back to where he stood in the parlor. "I won't hurt you," Frodo said to Calla.  
  
"Calla," Tansy whispered into her ear. "It's all right. Go to daddy."  
  
She peeled Calla's hands away from the collar of her dress and lifted the baby toward Frodo.  
  
Frodo graciously received Calla into his arms. He made sure Tansy didn't see his right hand and tucked it under his other arm while cradling Calla against him.  
  
At first Calla looked at him and pouted as if she would cry any moment from being in the arms of a stranger. Then her bright, wide eyes studied his hair. Her tiny, chubby hand reached up to his curls, playing with them as she twined a few strands around her fingers. She looked up at Frodo again, and it seemed for a second, a little smile formed in the corner of her mouth.  
  
Frodo wondered what she would do next. To his surprise, Calla rested her face against the comforting material of his cloak. His eyes shot up to see Tansy through a blur of hot tears.  
  
"She's beautiful," said Frodo.  
  
Tansy sobbed into her hand that covered her mouth.  
  
"Frodo!" she cried, throwing her arms around both him and Calla.  
  
At the entrance of the hall, Rosie watched them while ecstatic tears trailed down her cheeks. She remembered what Sam told her, why they had to leave. She finally learned the truth...they set out on a quest to save Middle-earth. And now they were home. Merry and Pippin, her Samwise whom she loved dearly, and Frodo...reunited at last with Tansy...and Calla.Tansy sat on the bed, facing the door. Every moment or so she would slide her hands across her lap, as if to straighten out any annoying wrinkles on her nightdress. But it was an unconscious habit Tansy had often done when feeling uneasy. She wondered what Frodo was doing and when the circle opened, Tansy gave him a puzzled look as he entered in his nightshirt and shut the door behind him.  
  
"Frodo? Since when you're shy about, well, usually you undress here and not outside."  
  
Frodo crossed over to the closet. Not knowing what to say, what he didn't want to tell her, he only shrugged his shoulders while hanging up his clothes.  
  
Tansy bit her bottom lip and resenting the unwelcome silence that wedged between them. She cleared her throat, breaking the silence.  
  
"It's all right. You don't have to answer. I know you're tired."  
  
Frodo walked over to the huge oval wicker basket where Calla lay in a deep sleep. He bent down and smiled a little at his daughter curled up on several comfy blankets that had been tucked inside the basket. Suddenly his smile faded.  
  
"Tansy?" he said while keeping his eyes on Calla.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Before I left, why didn't you tell me you were carrying my child?"  
  
Frodo walked away from the basket and sat beside his wife.  
  
Tansy bowed her head, preferring to stare at her lap rather than Frodo.  
  
"Hmm? Why, Tansy?"  
  
Tansy breathed. "I was going to tell you that day when you had to leave. I couldn't."  
  
"But why?"  
  
Tansy forced herself to look at him. "I didn't want you to go. And I knew if I would have told you about the child, you wouldn't had gone. But...you had to go. So now do you understand why I decided to be silent?"  
  
Frodo nodded. "Yes, I understand."  
  
He thought about what she sacrificed and imagined what she must had gone through, carrying his child alone, without him. Because if she told him, Frodo knew he wouldn't have gone. And what would have been the fate of Middle-earth? He shuddered, already knowing the answer.  
  
"Tansy, do you hate me?"  
  
She frowned, shaking her head. "What?"  
  
Frodo went on. "I promised you I would come back sooner but I didn't."  
  
"Frodo, I—I don't hate you because of what you had to do. I missed you very, very much and there were times I didn't think you were coming back. I was angry but never once did I hate you."  
  
Frodo nodded again.  
  
Tansy added, "Tell me about your adventure. You were always telling me about Bilbo's adventure. Now I want to hear yours."  
  
Frodo looked away from her, staring solemnly at the floor.  
  
"I'm afraid my adventure is quite different, something you don't want to hear."  
  
Befuddled, Tansy placed her hand onto his shoulder.  
  
"Why wouldn't I want to hear it?"  
  
Frodo let out an exasperated sigh. "Another time. I'm very tired."  
  
Tansy whispered to herself.  
  
_Something's wrong. It's not like Frodo to be so snappish.  
  
_She took his left hand into her own. And when she reached for his right hand, Frodo jerked away from her and stopped near his desk.  
  
Tansy dashed after him. "Frodo, what's wrong?"  
  
She looked down at his hand hidden behind him.  
  
"Frodo, why are you afraid to show me your hand?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Frodo!"  
  
Slowly, hesitantly, Frodo unhooked his arm from behind him and held out his hand for her to see.  
  
Tansy's gaze fell onto his hand. Something was different about it. Then a horrible reality struck her...his third finger...gone, nothing but a stump.  
  
She gasped. "What—what happened?"  
  
Frodo realized he could no longer keep everything a secret. Regrettably, he unbuttoned several buttons of his nightshirt.  
  
Tansy feared whatever else she might discover but she had to know. Her fingers peeled back the left side of his shirt. And what had been revealed to her eyes was a deep scar on his shoulder. Down a little further, on his side, she glimpsed another horrendous scar, which looked like the result of a huge whip.  
  
Tansy stumbled backwards, shaking her head frantically.  
  
"Frodo, what happened?" she cried, "Who did this to you!"  
  
He bowed his head in shame.  
  
Tansy's hand sprang against her mouth. Seized by nausea that rose from the pit of her stomach, Tansy raced toward the door. She halted there for a moment when it seemed she regained control and managed to stop herself from being sick. Panting and clutching her stomach, Tansy turned around to see Frodo buttoning his shirt.  
  
"I'm sorry," she said barely audible and raspy.  
  
Frodo moped up to her. "I understand. That's why I didn't want you to see me like this. You want to know what happened but I can't tell you now."  
  
Tansy slipped her arms around the waist of his frail body.  
  
"I love you," she cried.  
  
"Do you?" Tansy heard him say in a shaky voice.  
  
She looked at him, her gaze drifted down to his lips.  
  
"Yes," Tansy answered sincerely, sensuously.  
  
Wanting him.  
  
Her lips touched his.  
  
She remembered the way they kissed under the apple tree.  
  
The intense passion shared between them after they were married, like now.  
  
Frodo tightened his embrace, pulling her against him. The fingers on his left hand slowly unbuttoned the ruffled collar of her nightdress. And then came the badgering voices.  
  
_You're a freak now.  
  
She doesn't love you.  
  
Look at your hand. Look at you!  
_  
The flaming red eye blazed in his mind.  
  
Sauron.  
  
_I see you...  
_  
Frodo tore away from her. He panted as if his lungs desperately craved for air.  
  
"I—I'm sorry, Tansy. I want to but—I can't."  
  
Frodo slumped down onto the bed. Tansy rushed beside him.  
  
"It's okay," she said. "You need to rest. Let's go to sleep."  
  
Frodo nodded and then his head fell onto her shoulder.In the middle of the night, Tansy could not sleep. Instead, she watched Frodo from where she stood a few feet away in the darkness. But it wasn't pitch darkness. Light from the full moon crept through the window and touched Frodo as he slept restlessly. She listened to what he murmured in his sleep.  
  
"No, the ring is mine."  
  
She flinched at the sight of his four-fingered hand that clutched his neck, groping for the chain as if it was still there.  
  
The question replayed itself over and over in her mind.  
  
_What happened to you?  
  
_Feeling the sting of her burning tears, Tansy shut her eyes.TBC**A/N: Let me know what you honestly think because I was really tired. **


	4. Broken

> **Author's note: "My Immortal," by Evanescence is one of my favorite songs and as I listened to the lyrics, it inspired me to write a very angsty chapter, so again you're warned.  
**
> 
> Disclaimer: Don't own Tolkien's characters or anything his brilliant mind created. But...I own Tansy and Calla.
> 
> * * *
> 
> In the middle of the night, Tansy could not sleep. Instead, she watched Frodo from where she stood a few feet away in the darkness. But it wasn't pitch darkness. Light from the full moon crept through the window and touched Frodo as he slept restlessly. She listened to what he murmured in his sleep.  
  
"No, the ring is mine."  
  
She flinched at the sight of his four-fingered hand that clutched his neck, groping for the chain as if it was still there.  
  
The question replayed itself over and over in her mind.  
  
_What happened to you?  
  
_Feeling the sting of her burning tears, Tansy shut her eyes.
> 
> * * *
> 
> **_Chapter Four: Broken _****__**

> **__**
> 
> **__**
> 
>   
"Good Morning!" said Tansy cheerily.  
  
"Good Morning," Frodo answered not so cheerful but pleasant enough to convince his wife that he was feeling better.  
  
He sat down at the kitchen table where Calla had been seated in a high chair. Her lips smeared with puréed berries she scooped up with a spoon.  
  
"Good Morning to you, too, Calla."  
  
Calla greeted him with one of her giggles while smearing more berries against her lips as she ate.  
  
Frodo smiled, staring at Calla and still awed by the reality of having a daughter. His eyes left her and darted up to Tansy. She carefully set a platter of sugarcoated strawberry and crème cakes onto the middle of the table. After she had done that, Tansy poured tea into his cup first and when her cup was filled to the brim, she sat at the other end of the table.  
  
"Strawberry and creme cakes," said Frodo softly as he reminisced the time when Sam baked them for their first picnic at Bag End.  
  
"I know your uncle Bilbo did most of the cooking before you left," said Tansy. "So while you were gone, I learned how to cook, I know not as well as Bilbo or Sam when he baked these cakes but I try."  
  
"Tansy, I'm sure they taste wonderful."  
  
Frodo reached for one of the cakes. Suddenly he hesitated, realizing it was his hand with the missing finger he jerked it back onto the table and rolled it into a fist.  
  
Uneasy and didn't know what to do with herself at the moment, Tansy lifted her cup and sipped a little tea.  
  
Frodo cleared his throat, despising the awkward tension in the atmosphere around them. He decided to use his left hand instead and chose one of the cakes off the platter.  
  
Tansy kept her eyes on the cup as she continued to sip the tea, still feeling uncomfortable. At the same time, she wondered what he honestly thought about her cooking.  
  
"It's delicious, Tansy!"  
  
Her eyes shot up to meet his. "It is? You really like it?"  
  
He nodded with a pleasant smile while chewing.  
  
Delighted, Tansy answered, "I'm glad because I wanted to bake it special for you."  
  
Calla demanded their attention, banging the spoon onto her plate as if it were a drum. Clank, clank along with giddy laughter lightened the tension somewhat and Tansy was thankful for that. For she laughed each time Calla banged and in the process, making a splattered mess on herself and on the table.  
  
"Calla," Frodo said to his wife. "You gave her a beautiful name."  
  
Tansy only nodded with a shy smile softening her lips.  
  
"I'm sorry," said Frodo.  
  
"For what?" Tansy asked while chewing off a small piece of the cake.  
  
"Well, for not being here when Calla was born...for everything."  
  
Tansy frowned. "Frodo, you had to leave."  
  
"Yes, I know that, but--," The cup slipped from his four-fingered hand and clanked onto the saucer.  
  
Tansy flinched. She clasped her hands together beneath the table and kept nervous eyes on her half-eaten cake that lay on the plate.  
  
"Sorry," he said sheepishly.  
  
"I understand, Frodo."  
  
Frodo stared at her through pools of tears.  
  
_Do you really? No...how can anyone understand?  
  
_Frodo drew in a deep breath. "You wanted to know about my adventure, all right, I'll tell you."  
  
Tansy's eyes left the plate. They slowly rolled up the peasant-style white shirt he wore and rested onto Frodo's sorrowful face.  
  
He went on. "I know you thought it would be an easy to task to get rid of the ring. Tell me the truth, Tansy."  
  
She nodded. "Yes, that's why I expected you back sooner."  
  
"I expected it as well. It all turned out quite different when I arrived in Rivendell. I thought the ring would be safe there, as long as it was far away from the Shire. But...it couldn't stay there. I had decided to destroy it myself."  
  
"So," Tansy interrupted, "you had to go to Mordor."  
  
"Yes, but I was not alone. Sam accompanied me. Before we set off to Mordor, so much had happened--,"  
  
Tansy listened carefully, shivering every now and then when Frodo explained to her the events that occurred before he reached Rivendell. How he met Aragorn who was now King Elessar of Gondor. Aragorn who told them about the Black Riders and at Weathertop, it was there when Frodo had been stabbed in the shoulder by one of the riders. He went on about the others who also accompanied him. Besides Sam, Merry and Pippin, there were Legolas, Gimli, Boromir and of course, Gandalf. Frodo continued further, describing the beauty of Rivendell and Lothlorien where they met Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn. That part of his adventure had been a delight to Tansy's ears, but then she frowned again when he had no choice but to tell her the rest. How he was stabbed again by a cave troll, but the Mithril he wore beneath his shirt had saved him.  
  
Then came his horrible encounter with the giant spider, Shelob and the wound she inflicted when she stung him. In Cirith Ungol, Orcs had taken him prisoner in the tower. Feeling the shame of lying in the darkness, naked. His wrists and ankles were bound tightly with rope and the fear he would never forget when one of the Orcs took a whip; the unforgettable pain each time the whip tore his flesh. And then Smeagol, out of his desperation of wanting the ring, bit off Frodo's finger.  
  
Again, Tansy shuddered, covering her mouth with her hand.  
  
Frodo swallowed away the nagging lump that lodged in his throat.  
  
"So," he said, crestfallen, "That's my adventure."  
  
In her mind, Tansy scrambled for the words she wanted to utter, but what could she say to make him feel better?  
  
"Well," she managed to say and added, "the ring is destroyed. Everything is all right, now."  
  
Frodo cringed at her reply, thinking it rather stoic. He shrugged it off and a smile brightened his face when he glanced at Calla.  
  
"Look at you," he said light-heartedly. "You're a mess. Mommy will give you a bath when you're done."  
  
"Oh my," Tansy giggled. "You are a mess. You don't want your cousins and your uncle to see you so dirty when they come."  
  
Tansy left where she sat and hoisted Calla into her arms.  
  
Frodo stood from his chair. "I'll get the basin and water."  
  
Tansy peeked at Frodo. Her eyes squinted as if she pondered something.  
  
"Frodo?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
She hesitated, biting her bottom lip. Last night she hardly slept. Listening to him mumble in his sleep.  
  
_The ring is mine.  
  
_"Tansy, what's wrong?"  
  
"The ring. Is it really...gone?"  
  
"Yes. It's gone. You have no reason to fear anymore, Tansy."  
  
She nodded, though Frodo wasn't blind to her obvious unconvinced expression.  
  
When she left the kitchen, he stood there for a moment, frustrated.  
  
_Why does she doubt me?  
  
_The voices assaulted him again.  
  
_It's because she doesn't love you. How could she?  
  
Look at what you've become. You're not the same, Frodo.  
  
You're not the same.  
_  
Frodo squeezed his eyes shut. He screamed at the voices, demanding they leave him alone. Then came a sudden silence. He breathed a sigh of relief, opened his eyes and left the kitchen to get the basin.
> 
> * * *
> 
> "Calla," Pippin said as he trotted alongside Merry and Sam down the hill to Bag End. "You know, Merry, I still can't believe we have a little cousin...oh and Sam, I'm sure you're proud Frodo and Tansy asked you to be Calla's uncle."  
  
Sam acknowledged Pippin's statement with a smile and nod. He stopped at the white gate that belonged to the Baggins' hole.  
  
"I'm happy for Mr. Frodo. He deserves a family."  
  
Merry and Pippin eyed one another. And despite their smiles, they could not forget what Frodo had endured, what they all suffered.  
  
"You're right," said Merry, usually chipper, but this time he was serious. "Frodo deserves to be happy."  
  
"Well," Pippin chimed, breaking the gloom that lulled over them. "Let's go see Calla shall we?"
> 
> * * *
> 
> "There," said Tansy to Calla in her arms. "You look much better."  
  
Inside the parlor, Frodo stood next to his wife and watched Calla over Tansy's shoulder.  
  
Tansy turned and caught him peeking.  
  
"Why don't you hold her?"  
  
Frodo blushed. "Well...okay."  
  
He lifted Calla until she was safely nestled in his arms. Frodo rocked her a little. He shut his eyes and tilted his forehead onto hers. Tears wanted to have their way. They needed to escape. But Frodo refused. He didn't want Tansy to see him that way. He needed to be strong and so Frodo gained back the control he almost lost. His eyes snapped open at the sound of the doorbell.  
  
"They're here," Tansy announced excitedly.  
  
Frodo followed Tansy to the door. When she opened the circle, it pleased him greatly to see his cousins along with Sam. He saw their elated smiles and knew they were happy about him being a father. Still, it didn't seem to sink in yet that he was actually a 'father', which Frodo had to remind himself over and over.  
  
Pippin's eyes widened with delight as he scuttled over to Frodo.  
  
"She's beautiful!"  
  
"Isn't she?" said Merry.  
  
"Oh, Mr. Frodo, Mrs. Baggins," said Sam, "A very beautiful child she is."  
  
"Thank you," answered Tansy gratefully.  
  
After they had finished second breakfast, Tansy joined Merry and Pippin inside the living room where they spent time with Calla. Frodo sat at the kitchen table with Sam.  
  
"So," said Frodo, leaning his crossed arms onto the table. "Did you tell Rosie yet?"  
  
Sam blushed and a coy smile spread across his lips.  
  
"You told her!"  
  
Sam nodded. "At first I thought, Samwise Gamgee, what if she doesn't say I love you back? Well, she did!"  
  
Grinning, Frodo replied, "Sam, my dear Sam, I'm very happy for you."  
  
"I'm happy for you, too, Mr. Frodo."  
  
Sam smiled back, watching Frodo rest his chin on the palm of his right hand. His smile vanished when he saw Frodo's missing finger. Immediately the gardener was concerned.  
  
"Uh—Mr. Frodo, how are you feeling?"  
  
"I'm fine, Sam."  
  
"And Tansy?"  
  
"Tansy? She--,"  
  
Frodo peeked at his hand and then it dawned on him why Sam was so inquisitive. He sighed, slumping back against the chair.  
  
"What you're asking me, Sam is...what did Tansy think when she saw my hand?"  
  
"Well," Sam paused and breathed. "You're right Mr. Frodo, that's what I'm asking."  
  
"How long could I hide it from her? She had to see it eventually and the scars I have. I told her what happened. She was upset, which I had expected. But I think in time everything will be all right."  
  
Frodo peered out into the living room. His eyes fell somberly onto Tansy. He watched her, listened to her laughter while Merry and Pippin played with Calla. He wanted to be close to his wife last night—the way they were before the nightmare. Though the ring had been destroyed, it was as if it returned from the fiery chasms of Mount Doom, mercilessly haunting him and on a vengeful quest to destroy the love for his wife he longed to feel again.
> 
> * * *
> 
> November came swiftly and before the winter would once again visit the Shire, there was another market in Hobbiton. Frodo and Tansy hired one of the lasses who lived nearby to take care of Calla while they were gone. The usual large crowd attended the market. When the suddenly famous hobbits weaved through the crowd, some of the folk greeted them warmly. Some stared at them with an evident scowl and dislike of queer hobbits. And Frodo especially felt that scowl. For he knew they were aware of the missing finger on his hand.  
  
When they stopped at one of the vendors, his four fingers crept toward Tansy's wrist and when they intertwined themselves around her hand, Frodo noticed her discomfort.  
  
Tansy yanked her hand out of his. Instead, she threw it against her mouth, pretending she saw something impressive at a table lined with plates, cups and other necessities for the kitchen.  
  
Frodo eyed Sam and discovered his loyal friend was not at all blind to the embarrassing incident that had happened.During the evening, Frodo and Tansy returned to their hole. He waited for Tansy to hang up her cloak and then he hung his waistcoat onto the peg. Frodo watched her pensively as she stepped into the parlor and took Calla from the lass who was now their babysitter when they needed her. After she had been paid, the young lass reached for her cloak.  
  
"I hope Calla isn't much trouble for you?" said Frodo kindly.  
  
"No trouble at all, Mr. Baggins, sir."  
  
"Good. Well, thank you for your help."  
  
She appreciated his kindness with a polite nod. "Good night, sir."  
  
"Good night."  
  
When she had gone, Frodo sauntered into the living room. He stopped beside the chair where Tansy sat with Calla.  
  
Tansy looked up at him. "Why don't we have a tea and seed cake party. Remember the parties we use to have with Bilbo?"  
  
"A party? When?"  
  
"In a few days. It's too cold for picnics so why don't we have a party?"  
  
Tansy glanced and smiled at Calla clapping her hands together.  
  
"I'll think about it," said Frodo in a cold, stern voice.  
  
"Think about it?" Tansy's pinned up curls bounced a little as she turned in the chair. Her eyes narrowed at Frodo. "Do we have other plans?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then why do you have to think about having the party?"  
  
"Because," Frodo began and tried to be as calm as he could. "I'm tired and having a party is the last thing I want to be bothered with right now."  
  
Offended by what she perceived as a smug attitude, Tansy sprang from the chair along with Calla and brushed past him into the kitchen.  
  
Frodo followed her to the table.  
  
Tansy's free hand grabbed a cup and slammed it down onto the wooden surface. Next, she grasped the handle on the kettle and about to pour some tea when Frodo spoke.  
  
"Why have a party?" he spatted, "and pretend everything is all right when it's not!"  
  
Tansy slammed the kettle onto the table. She looked up with a scowl that infuriated him even more.  
  
"Ever since you've been home, I feel like I don't know you anymore. At night, I hear you utter things in your sleep, about the ring. It's over now. You have to let it go. I just want everything to be like it was!"  
  
Both were oblivious to Calla sneaking the cup into her hand.  
  
Frodo blindly went on. "And I don't? I wish none of this had ever happened! I think about when I had five fingers and no scars. When I felt like I wasn't going mad!" He hesitated, fighting the tears that burned his eyes. Frodo added, "When you held my hand and wasn't ashamed of me."  
  
Tansy shook her head, denying the last words he had spoken.  
  
"Frodo--,"  
  
Suddenly they were startled by a crash.  
  
Tansy looked down and saw fragments of the cup splattered near her feet.  
  
"Calla!"  
  
Frightened by the sound of Tansy's voice, Calla began to cry.  
  
"I'll clean it up," Frodo offered.  
  
"No. It's okay. I'll do it."  
  
Frodo lifted Calla into his arms.  
  
"Shh," he whispered to her as he solemnly left the kitchen.  
  
Tansy bent over the shattered cup. With a dustpan in her left hand and a small broom in the other, she swept some of the shards into the pan. She stopped and stared at many fragments that weren't confined to only one small space but had been dispersed across the tiles.  
  
"So many pieces," she thought. "So many--,"  
  
Tansy shut her eyes.  
  
_"When you held my hand and wasn't ashamed of me..."  
  
_She kept her eyes shut, squeezing them until a tear snaked down her freckled cheek.  
  
_This is our fate? Or was it really fate that we were to be together?  
  
How could it have been? So much pain. How much more can I bear?  
  
How can we move on for what is now broken.  
_  
Slowly, Tansy opened her eyes and gazed out into the parlor. From a distance, she could still see gold, chestnut and russet leaves falling like feathers outside the window. Leaves that morphed into tiny flakes of December snow that fell calmly.  
  
Tansy slipped out of the hole and into the frigid air. The hood of her velvet cloak, which Frodo had brought back as a gift for her, had protected Tansy from the most of the snow. Still, some of the icy flakes stung her face as she trudged up the hill that had already been carpeted with a few layers of white.  
  
Trudging up to Bagshot Row.  
  
Sam was waiting for her.  
  
"Mrs. Baggins is coming here?" said the Gaffer. "In this weather?"  
  
"I reckon so," Sam replied, sitting across from his father at the kitchen table.  
  
"It's about Mr. Frodo, isn't it? He hasn't been well at all?"  
  
Sam sighed and frowned. "No."  
  
The doorbell chimed twice.  
  
"That must be her now," the Gaffer said as he rose from his chair and walked out into the living room.  
  
Sam listened to his Gaffer welcoming Tansy inside their hole. And when they entered the kitchen, Sam courteously stood onto his hobbit feet.  
  
"I'll be in the den," the Gaffer said.  
  
After he left them alone, Sam's attention fleeted back to Tansy.  
  
"Mrs. Baggins," he said politely and bowed his head a little.  
  
"Hello, Sam," Tansy replied, forcing a weak smile at the gardener.  
  
Thick white sleeves peeked out from under his grey wool vest that seemed to keep him warm. He waited until Tansy sat down and then he returned to his chair.  
  
"How is Mr. Frodo today?" Sam asked Tansy who was always well dressed in wealthy clothes. Silk burgundy hugged her plump form with a ruffled collar buttoned up to her neck.  
  
"He's resting, for now."  
  
Sam examined her face. He searched for the 'Tansy Puddifoot' he once knew. Instead he saw a lass, drained with puffy circles beneath her eyes, as if her youth had been stolen and now lost.  
  
"Have you been sleeping?"  
  
Tansy nodded. "Not much. How can I? Frodo...he screams in his sleep. During the day he's usually distant, well, with me that is. He spends time with Calla and when he's not doing that, he's in the den writing in his red book. But he hardly ever spends time with me. Sam, I've become frightened of him, like he's a stranger. All he cares about is that ring. I see it in his eyes. He won't let it go. Why can't he let it go?"  
  
"That ring," Sam explained, "once someone gets a hold of it, it's hard to let go, even now that it's destroyed. I know what's it's done to Mr. Frodo. It was such a burden. It began to corrupt his mind and he had to fight it and I know it wasn't easy for him to do that. And it's not just the ring, he suffered so many wounds. What he went through Mrs. Baggins, it was a dreadful thing."  
  
"I want him back, Sam!" Frustrated, she shouted, "Why did all of this have to happen to him? Now I wish he hadn't gone!"  
  
By now, Sam lost his patience with Tansy and fired back. "Have you forgotten what Mr. Frodo did? He chose to destroy the ring so Middle-earth can be saved. How can you ignore the sacrifice he made? There was a chance we could've died. And I know that's something you wouldn't want but at least you, Calla, Rosie and everyone in Middle-earth would still have a chance to live peacefully and not be slaves to Sauron, because that's what would have happened!"  
  
Sam wondered if his Gaffer heard the conversation and so he lowered his voice and continued on.  
  
"When you and Mr. Frodo are together, don't think I haven't noticed. You're always uncomfortable with him, like you're ashamed of him. It's enough he feels terrible after what happened. I don't mean no disrespect, Mrs. Baggins. I understand it's not easy for you either but you have to stop thinking about yourself. He was there for you when you were afraid. Now you need to be there for him. He needs time, please, Mrs. Baggins."  
  
Tansy bowed her head in shame of what she had done. Again she allowed her fears and selfishness to keep her from doing what was important, from being a wife she vowed to Frodo. When she looked up at Sam, tears blinded her eyes.  
  
"I love him, Sam."  
  
"I know you do."  
  
"What you've said is true, but I'm afraid...I've lost him."
> 
> * * *
> 
> Tansy had not forgotten the conversation with Sam on that icy, winter day. Now it was March 13 of the year 3020. And though she wanted desperately to be close to Frodo, he drifted further and further, especially during the times of his anniversary illness. March 13 had been the day he was poisoned by Shelob.  
  
Tansy lay beside him in bed. She wondered if he even knew she was there as he whined from the high fever that inflicted him. Tansy patted his sweaty forehead and face with a cloth that had been dipped in cool water.  
  
"Frodo?" Tansy whispered, begging for him to look at her.  
  
When he turned his face and his sunken eyes opened a little, she smiled.  
  
"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you before. I'm here now."  
  
Frodo's eyes rolled away from her and his face fell onto the other side of the pillow.  
  
"Frodo?"  
  
Silence.  
  
Frightened by the chilling silence, Tansy laid her head onto his chest. Her hands grasped the beige sleeves of his nightshirt.  
  
"Oh no, Frodo, please don't die," she cried. "I don't want to lose you! No! No..."
> 
> * * *
> 
> TBC
> 
> **A/N: I know you're wondering what's going to happen with Frodo and Tansy but hit that button, read, review and soon you'll find out!**
> 
> ****


	5. Bid Not Farewell

**Author's note: Okay, everyone, this sequel is near the end and so I hope you enjoy this chapter before the last one!**

****

****

  
Disclaimer: No, Tolkien's characters aren't mine, but I own Tansy and Calla.

* * *

Tansy lay beside him in bed. She wondered if he even knew she was there as he whined from the high fever that inflicted him. Tansy patted his sweaty forehead and face with a cloth that had been dipped in cool water.  
  
"Frodo?" Tansy whispered, begging for him to look at her.  
  
When he turned his face and his sunken eyes opened a little, she smiled.  
  
"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you before. I'm here now."  
  
Frodo's eyes rolled away from her and his face fell onto the other side of the pillow.  
  
"Frodo?"  
  
Silence.  
  
Frightened by the chilling silence, Tansy laid her head onto his chest. Her hands grasped the beige sleeves of his nightshirt.  
  
"Oh no, Frodo, please don't die," she cried. "I don't want to lose you! No! No..."

* * *

**_Chapter Five: Bid Not Farewell_**

**__**

**__**

**__**

  
Tansy sat in a chair not far from the foot of the bed. It seemed she stayed there for hours, forlornly watching the bed where she once slept beside Frodo. Nothing anyone could do or say had persuaded her to leave the room. But her friends would not give up easily. Someone tapped the door twice. At the moment, even a knock on the door failed to interrupt Tansy's unwavering gaze that padlocked itself onto the bed.  
  
"Come in," she barely said before the third knock.  
  
She kept her gaze straight-ahead and yet aware of Rosie and Sam entering the room.  
  
"Tansy?" said Rosie, stepping carefully toward her.  
  
Mrs. Baggins remained still, as if every limb had been stiff. And not a twitch of her eyes until they finally gave in and fluttered a few times.  
  
"Rosie?" she said, disoriented. "Yes, it's me. Sam is here, too.  
  
"I--," Tansy began, shaking her head. "I still cannot believe he's gone. I tried everything to bring the fever down. I told him I was sorry and I'll be there for him. I tried, I--,"  
  
"You've done all you could, Mrs. Baggins," said Sam, wiping a tear from under his left eye. "It's not your fault. The doctor tried, we all tried our best to keep him alive. Mr. Frodo, I think he just got tired of fighting."  
  
"Tansy," Rosie uttered gently. "I know you don't feel like talking about this but it's important. It can't be put off any longer...what about his burial? We need to discuss it."  
  
"I can't. Please, not now."  
  
"But, Tansy--,"  
  
Finally, she looked away from the bed and shot a bitter glance at Rosie and Sam.  
  
"No! Not now. I'm tired and I just want to be alone."  
  
"All right," muttered Rosie. "We'll come back tomorrow."  
  
Tansy waited until they left and then she decided to leave the chair, something she never thought she could do. Mrs. Baggins stood by the left side of the bed where she slept. Tansy knew she would have to sleep in the bed eventually. After Frodo's death, it pained her to even step inside the room. And so she stayed in the parlor at nights, sleeping in the chair. It wasn't the most comfortable way of getting a good night's rest. And so before the evening came, Tansy's exhausted body begged for sleep, begged for the bed that looked so inviting.  
  
Slowly, cautiously, as if something dreadful would happen, Tansy eased herself onto the bed. Her head fell against the soft pillow as she shifted her body into a fetal position.  
  
As she stared at the mid-day sun streaming through the window and lovingly embraced her in its arms, Tansy thought she heard her mother's voice—a loving whisper that broke the frigid silence.  
  
_Close your eyes my child...sleep.  
_  
"Mum?" Tansy mumbled.  
  
"Mum," she repeated and the rest of what she wanted to say had been silenced by sleep that gently closed her eyes.Something jolted Tansy out of her pleasant slumber. She sprang from the bed, alarmed at the noise coming from the kitchen and Calla, gone from her wicker cradle. A terrified Mrs. Baggins quietly opened the door and tiptoed out into the hall.  
  
"Who's there?" she shouted, not wanting the intruder to know that she was indeed frightened. "Who is it I say?"  
  
When Tansy neared the end of the hall, the intruder greeted her. She gasped at someone unexpected.  
  
"Frodo, what—what are you doing here?"  
  
Clad in his white shirt and suspender breeches, he eyed her shockingly.  
  
"What do you mean what am I doing here? I live here."  
  
Tansy raced into the kitchen where the perky one-year old Calla Baggins was seated in her high chair.  
  
Frodo followed her and added, "You were resting. I didn't want to disturb you and so I decided to give Calla her lunch."  
  
"What—I don't understand. You died."  
  
"Died?" Frodo chuckled. "Now if I was dead would I be standing here?"  
  
"What a horrible dream," she said and circled her arms around Frodo, giving him a snug embrace. "I thought I had lost you when you were ill."  
  
"I know. That was a few days ago, remember? I'm better now."  
  
Tansy wondered if he had forgiven her selfishness. He never told her. If she had truly been forgiven, she longed to hear it from his lips. She longed for him to make love to her again, something they hadn't shared since he came home.  
  
Tansy stared into his eyes. For a moment she thought his lips were closing in on hers, then he broke away from her embrace and returned to the table. She joined him, watching Frodo dejectedly as she sat down.  
  
_Frodo, I will not say goodbye to our marriage. Somehow, we have to get back what we once had. Please...please.  
_  
Calla pointed her spoon at Frodo.  
  
"Da!" she shouted.  
  
Frodo laughed. "That's right, Da." He brushed his fingers along her chubby pink cheek. Suddenly his smile faded. "I'm really your daddy."  
  
"And a good daddy you are, too!"  
  
Frodo eyed Tansy again. His smile returned—a shy one that replaced the melancholy expression he showed only seconds ago.  
  
"And you're a good mommy."  
  
Tansy smiled back, but unable to shake the uneasy feeling between them, her gaze left him and fell onto the table.  
  
Wanting to veer the subject away from them, Frodo thought of something more cheerful.  
  
"Isn't it splendid news about Sam and Rosie?"  
  
Tansy perked in the chair and a broad grin brightened her face.  
  
"Yes, it is. When Rosie told me that Sam asked her to marry him, I was so happy for her. She missed him terribly while you were both gone. And what a splendid idea you had of asking them to move in with us. It would be a pleasure having them here. I hope they have a beautiful day like we had."  
  
Their wedding day, it seemed like years had passed since then and yet in June it would only be two years. Every time Frodo thought about it, about anything in the past, he winced at the memories along with the pain of his wounds.  
  
_I don't understand. You died...  
  
_Frodo whispered silently,  
  
_No Tansy, it's not a dream. I am dead. Dead to you and everyone I love.__

* * *

_When the first of May had finally arrived, it was a very joyous day for Sam and Rosie. Again, many guests were invited to the wedding that was held on the field. Tansy watched the couple, beaming at how beautiful Rosie looked in her dress and the flower crown that she had made for her. During the moment they kissed, she clapped excitedly and eyed Frodo who stood beside her. She saw his ecstatic expression but she also wondered if he remembered how happy they were on their wedding day.  
  
A few days after the wedding, Frodo, Tansy, Sam, Rosie and of course Calla who took her usual seat in the high chair, they were all enjoying their dinner that Sam offered to cook.  
  
Tansy, while finishing her chicken marinated in a rich broth, watched Frodo who laughed and seemed to be having a good time. At that moment, hope once dim had brightened again. And it's the reason she refused to give up on their marriage that the ring had broken.  
  
"Hey," said Frodo to Sam and Rosie. "Your wedding is over, but that doesn't mean the celebration is over. Let's celebrate at the Green Dragon? I'll ask Merry and Pippin if they want to join us as well."  
  
"Yeah," Sam answered eagerly and turned to look at Rosie sitting beside him. "Why don't we Rosie?"  
  
"Why not? You know I don't mind a bit."  
  
Frodo's initiation of having fun was a welcoming delight to Tansy's ears.  
  
And so this is what she asked, "When will we go? Certainly not tomorrow. I have to get the babysitter here for Calla and she has to know of our plans in advance."  
  
"Friday evening," Frodo suggested. "Will that be good?"  
  
"Oh, yes," said Tansy. "That will give us plenty of time."  
  
Sam and Rosie nodded in agreement.  
  
Tansy added excitedly, "We'll have a wonderful time!"

* * *

On a chilly Friday evening, a cart, more like a coach parked in front of the Green Dragon Inn. Frodo, Tansy, Sam, Merry and Pippin stepped out and entered the inn. They met Rosie who was already there, working her usual shift. But that evening, she finished early to join her husband and friends in celebrating their marriage. First they sat at one of the tables, laughing and enjoying their ale. After some time, Sam asked Rosie to dance. Pippin proudly danced with a lass known as Diamond of Longcleeve and Merry strutted onto the floor with Estella Bolger dancing in his arms. But...Frodo and Tansy remained at the table, staring at one another uncomfortably.  
  
"Well?" said Tansy, "Aren't you going to ask me to dance?"  
  
"That's why we're here," Frodo answered, almost sarcastically. "To have fun, isn't it? So--,"  
  
Frodo stood from the table. He gestured his left hand toward her while his other hand had been tucked behind his burgundy waistcoat.  
  
"Would you like to dance Mrs. Baggins?"  
  
Tansy gazed at him for a moment, suddenly troubled. Not by his invitation to dance, but the way he said...  
  
_"That's why we're here, to have fun isn't it?"  
  
_Tansy rose from where she sat.  
  
"I would love to dance—Mr. Baggins."  
  
Her hand slipped into his and she was guided onto the floor, joining the crowd of jaunty hobbits. Tansy watched him carefully as he waltzed her around the floor.  
  
"Frodo," she said, her spiraled curls swung along with every movement of their dance. "Shouldn't we slow down a bit?"  
  
"Why?" he answered, bitter laughter bellowed from his lips. "Aren't you having fun?"  
  
As they twirled in an uneven circle, Tansy's hand grasped his shoulder, pulling him closer so that now they were face to face.  
  
"Why did you want to come here?" she asked in a firm, raspy voice through clenched teeth. "Certainly not to have fun like you've said."  
  
"You're not having fun. I on the other hand, am having a splendid time. You ask too many questions. How can you enjoy anything?"  
  
They spun faster and during that moment, even the music seemed to suddenly speed up along with boisterous laughter booming around them.  
  
Tansy raised her voice above the noise. "You're lying. Are you really having fun?" she remarked boldly.  
  
"You doubt me so much. Why, Tansy?"  
  
His face darkened. Something she had seen before. It terrified her then and now her fear of him had returned.  
  
Despite the fear, Tansy refused to back down. "You didn't come here out of your free will."  
  
"What do you want?" Frodo growled.  
  
"I don't want it to be like this. The ring, Frodo, it was destroyed at Mount Doom like you told me, but you need to destroy it in your mind. Please, you must do it so we can move on or else what we have will be gone forever."  
  
"I don't want to talk about it," he snapped, "Let's just dance...like you wanted!"  
  
"I said, not like this! Please, Frodo, slow down!"  
  
Frodo tightened his grip around Tansy's waist.  
  
"Stop it. Let me go!"  
  
He ignored his wife and continued to spin her around until they stepped out of rhythm, losing control of the dance.  
  
"I said stop it!"  
  
Frodo stumbled backwards, bumping into one of the couples.  
  
The elder hobbit Frodo had bumped turned around to see that it was the queer Frodo Baggins he detested.  
  
"Hey!" the elder hobbit said indignantly. Anger blazed across his harsh facial features. "Why don't you watch it! I don't have patience with cracked folk such as yourself."  
  
Frodo humbled himself. "I'm terribly sorry."  
  
"Are you now?"  
  
The elder hobbit marched toward his table nearby. He grabbed the handle of his mug.  
  
What Frodo didn't expect was to be slapped on the face with ale.  
  
The music and dance came to an abrupt halt.  
  
Everyone froze, shocked at the incident as they watched Frodo who was obviously upset and embarrassed.  
  
Tansy threw her hand against her mouth, wanting to reach out to her husband. Ale dripped from his drenched curls, down his face and onto the waistcoat he wore.  
  
A furious Samwise Gamgee pushed through the crowd, targeting the elder hobbit.  
  
"There was no reason for that!" he snarled. "Mr. Frodo said he was sorry."  
  
"Go on," the elder spatted. "You're cracked just like he is!"  
  
At that, Sam clutched the collar of the elder's shirt. And it seemed like he was about to strike him when he heard a familiar voice behind him.  
  
"Sam!" Rosie called desperately. "Don't. He's not worth it. Let's be on our way now."  
  
Not wanting to disappoint Rosie, Sam fought his desire to roll his fingers into a tight fist. Instead, he loosened his grip on the elder's collar and pushed him against the table.  
  
Merry and Pippin managed a quick bow to the lasses they danced with and rushed away from the crowd.  
  
Again, Tansy wanted to reach out to Frodo but he stormed away from her and out of the inn. She sadly looked back at Rosie and Sam approaching her.  
  
"Come," Rosie said, comforting Tansy with one of her warm, endearing smiles.  
  
They left the inn and when riding back home in the coach, no one said a word.  
  
The coach passed the willow tree by the pond where Tansy and Frodo had their picnics together. She stiffened and bit her bottom lip to keep herself from falling apart.  
  
_I never thought it would come to this.  
  
_When the driver parked the coach in front of the Baggins' and Gamgee hole, Merry and Pippin solemnly said their goodbyes to both couples and then the coach was off again.  
  
Frodo had been the first to unlock the door and walk inside the hole. Tansy, Rosie and Sam lagged behind. Frodo paid the babysitter and after she had gone, he checked the bedroom where Calla had been sleeping peacefully. After he had done that, Frodo returned to the parlor where Sam, Rosie and Tansy sat in their comfy chairs by the fireplace.  
  
"I'm sorry, Sam...Rosie," he said to them in a flat, dejected tone. "I ruined your night that was supposed to be fun."  
  
Sam spun around in the chair and jumped onto his feet. "Mr. Frodo, it wasn't your fault. Now I don't want you worrying about it either. He was just looking for trouble is all."  
  
"Sam is right," said Rosie. "We had a delightful time."  
  
Frodo nodded. He turned away from them and shuffled back down the hall.  
  
Tansy dashed after him. "Frodo?"  
  
He stopped short, turned and faced her.  
  
"Tansy," he said softly with a frown on his face. "I'll be in the bathroom. I need to get out of these clothes."  
  
"All right."  
  
Her eyes, heavy with sorrow had followed him until he disappeared into one of the bathrooms. She had gone back to the parlor where she joined Sam and Rosie. This time, she remained standing beside the chair Rosie sat in.  
  
Sam shook his head. "I feel so bad for Mr. Frodo. He's trying to get on with his life. And what happened tonight...I wanted to--,"  
  
"I know Sam," said Rosie. "But it would have made things worse for Frodo."  
  
Suddenly, alarming screams shrieked through their ears—screams that thundered and seemed to echo down the hall.  
  
Tansy gasped. "Frodo!"  
  
Sam and Rosie sprang from where they sat.  
  
"Tansy--," Rosie started, wanting to follow her.  
  
"No," Tansy shook her head. "I'll be all right."  
  
Mrs. Gamgee nodded and allowed Tansy to go.  
  
Tansy sped down the dimly lit hall. Her heart leapt and hammered against her chest each time she heard him scream. Her hand reached for the brass knob of the bathroom. For a moment it seemed to her that she would never grasp it, but she did. And when Tansy bolted inside the spacious bathroom, she saw Frodo on the other side of the room near the tub resembling a huge barrel. He was slumped against the wall. His face, sheltered behind the sleeves of his nightshirt.  
  
Tansy shut the door behind her. Trembling from fright, she wet her lips.  
  
"Frodo?" she uttered and eased cautiously toward him.  
  
Bombarded with the memories that had taken him back to the darkness, the madness.  
  
The flaming eye blazed with a ferocious anger, watching him...  
  
_I see you.  
_  
Frodo saw something else, Smeagol falling into the lava. And the ring, there it was, floating a top the smoldering red liquid.  
  
_It's mine, no, no!  
_  
Behind his tears that felt hot like the air around him, he could do nothing but watch the ring—his precious that sank slowly until it had been swallowed by the ravenous lava.  
  
_Noooo!  
_  
And yet another thing he saw, slinking out of the darkness was one of the Orcs. A horrifying place it was, the tower in Cirith Ungol. He almost retched at the foul smell and his eyes widened at the whip snaking in the air. Frodo screamed again when the whip tore through his flesh, branding his skin with a bloody whip-weal.  
  
_No more! Please, no more!  
_  
The Orc ignored him, showing a haughty smile along with rotten, black teeth.  
  
A merciless rage boiled deep within Frodo, a rage that shoved him away from the wall and barging toward the Orc. He slammed the hideous creature against the other wall, pinning him there with his hands clenched tightly around the Orc's neck.  
  
"I'll kill you!" Frodo snarled. His facial features contorted by the rage that blinded him to who it was.  
  
Then, as if something shook him, waking him to the reality of the situation...Frodo's eyes widened in horror at his hands around Tansy's neck.  
  
Sweat drenched his face. He blinked a few times, trying to make sense of what happened as he loosened his grip from around Tansy's neck.  
  
Her hand clutched her neck while she gasped violently and begged for air.  
  
"Tan--," Frodo began but didn't finish. He trembled when realizing he almost killed his wife. At that horrifying realization, Frodo turned away from her and slowly slid down onto the floor.  
  
Tansy continued to gasp and cough.  
  
Three knocks pounded at the door.  
  
"Tansy!" she heard Sam shouting outside in the hall. "Mr. Frodo!"  
  
Mrs. Baggins stumbled over to the door, at the same time she rubbed her neck to ease the burning pain.  
  
A raspy "Sam," gurgled from her lips.  
  
"Is everything all right?" he asked.  
  
She cleared away the thick phlegm that lodged in her throat.  
  
"Y-yes. We're fine."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes, Sam."  
  
She listened for his footsteps that faded away from the door and then she turned to stare at Frodo who sat against the wall. He gazed unblinking into the space around him.  
  
Tansy sat on the floor several feet from her husband. She stayed there for a while, staring at him.  
  
He never moved.  
  
He just sat there.  
  
Lost.  
  
Tansy eased herself across the tiles, sliding toward him.  
  
His eyes fluttered twice but he kept his gaze away from her.  
  
She shivered and despite what had happened, Tansy didn't run away from him.  
  
More words sputtered from her lips. "Your hair needs washing, Frodo. The ale, remember? I have to wash that out."  
  
As if she was in denial of everything, Tansy took the basin used for hair washing and filled it with lukewarm water. After the first task had been done, she sat in a chair and laid the basin on her lap. Then gently, she lifted Frodo's limp body onto a cushioned bench. Tansy placed his neck into the headrest on the basin. For a moment, she stared lovingly into his angelic-like face. His eyes were shut. Tansy proceeded, ignoring the throbbing ache and unaware of the ruddy bruise that already made itself known halfway around her neck.  
  
She dipped his head into the water and with a small bar of soap she began to wash his hair. Tansy wanted to make sure there was not one trace of ale left in his hair, vigorously washing his curls that were now buried under a thick white lather.  
  
She took the bucket of water, pouring it over his hair until all the soap had been washed out. Tansy swept her hand through his clean, wet curls no longer sticky from the ale. She bit her bottom lip that trembled.  
  
_Come back to me, Frodo. I love you so much.  
  
_Tansy removed the basin off her lap and placed it onto the floor. She lifted Frodo, sitting him up on the bench and then she took a towel and began to dry his hair. She flinched when his fingers gently twined themselves around her wrist, stopping her from what she was doing.  
  
"Frodo, what is it?" asked Tansy. She left the chair and knelt in front of him. "Please, talk to me."  
  
He slid off the bench, collapsing onto his knees. And before Tansy could say another word, Frodo fell into her arms. Choking sobs burst from his lungs as she snuggled against him. Her own tears, longing to be free had streamed down her freckled face.  
  
Since he had been home, they never cried together and for the first time Frodo embraced the closeness he missed while Tansy rocked him lovingly.  
  
"I—I'm sorry," cried Frodo.  
  
"Shh--," Tansy whispered.  
  
"I love you," he cried again.  
  
"I know...I love you, too."  
  
Tansy unfolded his right hand until his four fingers had been in sight. She took his hand and brushed his fingers along her cheekbone. Tansy watched the water peek from beneath his damp curls and trail down his skin. His fingers moved from her cheek and onto her lips. She shivered when the tips of his fingers arched down along her neck.  
  
"I'm sorry," Frodo repeated when he saw the bruise. He peered into her eyes that told him she had accepted his apology. And then...  
  
His four-fingered hand left her neck, drifting down further.  
  
Tansy stiffened at his touch—his touch she had desired for so long.  
  
Slowly she shut her eyes and felt herself falling back onto the cool tiles.  
  
Her lips had been taken into his.  
  
Lost in the rapturous moment. Everything that happened, all that existed...  
  
Became still.

* * *

Tansy awoke to the room spinning around her.  
  
_Where am I?  
_  
Her eyes narrowed, focusing in on the small round window. It was open just a bit. Sunlight flooded what she now recognized to be the bathroom. A warm, soothing breeze wafted inside, bringing with it the invigorating aroma of fresh flowers.  
  
On the floor, Tansy was cuddled in Frodo's arms and discovered she never changed into her nightdress. Ruffled sleeves of the dress she wore draped below her shoulders. And the bottom of her dress hiked up to her thighs that were locked between his legs.  
  
Tansy peeked at Frodo who stirred in his sleep. Several buttons on his nightshirt and been undone. Every moment or so, the breeze peeled back the left side of Frodo's shirt, revealing glimpses of his chest.  
  
"Frodo?" she whispered.  
  
And when she saw he looked so peaceful, Tansy decided not to disturb him. Instead, she snuggled her face inside his shirt and tenderly laid her cheek onto his chest.

* * *

During the year 3021, another winter, spring and summer had come and gone. September visited them again. Tansy stepped inside the den where Frodo sat at his desk and busy scribbling in the red book about his adventure. He didn't know she was there, standing behind him. That night inside the bathroom was as clear as if it happened yesterday. It wasn't the only time they were close. They're were other times, though the nightmares and his illnesses continued to haunt him.  
  
His birthday was a few days away but she noticed he didn't talk about celebrating it.  
  
"Frodo?"  
  
He looked up to see her standing above him.  
  
"Hmm?" He stopped writing and dunked the quill into the ink jar.  
  
"What are you planning for your birthday?"  
  
He drew in a deep breath and reluctant to begin what he wanted to say. Tansy stiffened. She wondered why she suddenly felt uneasy. Afraid.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"I won't be here for my birthday."  
  
"You won't be here? Where are you going?"  
  
"Uncle Bilbo is leaving for the undying lands. The journey to the Grey Havens will be a long one and I must be with him when he leaves."  
  
Tansy nodded. Frightened, she answered nervously, "You told me about this before, the Grey Havens. The elves go there and they leave in the ship to Valinor, never to return. Frodo, promise me you won't leave again?"  
  
He stood and embraced her against him. Frodo squeezed his eyes shut, knowing he could not promise anything at the moment, because he knew what happened before when he gave her his promise. All he could do was whisper...  
  
"I love you."

* * *

Sam gave Rosie and their daughter, Elanor a hearty hug. Tansy watched through a blur of tears, Frodo dressed in his waistcoat and hoisting Calla into his arms. He kissed her forehead and when he put her down next to Elanor, Frodo kissed Tansy's lips once more. Again, she was faced with the pain of watching him walk away with Sam, down the steps and toward the gate. The coach waiting for them.  
  
She continued to watch them until her eyes faded behind the closing door.  
  
Not long after Frodo had gone, Tansy entered the bedroom. She froze when seeing an envelope that lay on the desk. Reluctantly she reached for the sealed envelope and after opening it she pulled out a beige parchment. It was a letter written by Frodo. Tansy read the first paragraph and could not read any further.  
  
_The elves go there and they leave in the ship to Valinor, never to return.  
  
_She slumped down onto the edge of the bed.  
  
The letter slipped from her fingers.  
  
Like a feather, it fell onto the floor and glided across the tiles by the breeze that sailed through the window. The letter had been blown into the airy tunnel and continued its journey down the long, silent hall.

* * *

**TBC **


	6. Sunrise

**Author's note: Well, everyone, again I'm so very grateful for your reviews and that you enjoyed my work. Thank you!!! I enjoyed writing these stories and its kind of sad for me to say this is the end. But I will continue to write more LotR stories in the future. Well, without further ado, here's the last chapter of "Trial and Sacrifice"**

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Disclaimer: I don't own any of Tolkien's characters. Only Tansy, Calla and Rory Hortlebower are my creation.**_Chapter Six: Sunrise_**

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Rosie Gamgee strolled down the tunnel. Her face beamed while watching Calla and Elanor breeze past her. Nothing stopped the giggling toddlers from going full speed ahead into the hall. Rosie had no reason to interfere, wanting them to play and delighted they got along so well. And nothing seemed to stop the elated smile that softened her lips as she watched them scurry in a light-hearted manner into one of the playrooms. But, something managed to erase the smile that had brightened her face. A puzzled frown took its place when she noticed what looked like a three-fold letter on the floor. Rosie watched it drifting by, shoved gently by the air that whirred through the tunnel.  
  
Curiosity prodded her to go after it but she hesitated. A distraught Tansy stepped out of the bedroom. As if she was exhausted, Tansy shuffled toward Rosie and then she stopped in front of Mrs. Gamgee.  
  
Rosie stared into Tansy's crestfallen eyes.  
  
"Tansy? What's wrong?"  
  
"Rosie," she said in a low, raspy voice and straining a weak smile. "I know you'll be happy when Sam comes back."  
  
"Yes. And I know you'll be happy when Frodo returns."  
  
"I wish I can say the same, but...he will not return."  
  
Bewildered by her answer, Rosie frowned again.  
  
"Tansy, why are you thinking such a thing? Of course he will."  
  
She nodded and her smile faded away to bitterness that etched itself onto her face.  
  
"I'm sure you've seen the letter on the floor."  
  
Rosie turned to look at the parchment that stopped its journey a few feet from where they stood.  
  
"Yes and I wondered what it was."  
  
"Go on. Pick it up," said Tansy gruffly. "Read it."  
  
Cautious, Rosie eyed her friend. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Go on," Tansy insisted.  
  
Rosie inched over to the letter. She bent down, picked it up and began to read it.  
  
Tansy waited, leaning her shoulder against the wall and crossed her tense arms.  
  
Rosie shook her head. "No. Oh, no, Tansy." She looked up from the letter and stared at Mrs. Baggins through a watery veil that were her tears.  
  
"Now d'you believe me?" said Tansy, making sure she kept herself composed.  
  
"No," answered Rosie and confused about the situation. "I don't believe Frodo would leave you and Calla behind."  
  
"You read the letter," Tansy replied calmly but stern. "It's his handwriting. What more is there to say? I don't want to believe it either but he's gone. Rosie, he was never the same after the war of the ring. And I was a fool to think our marriage could bring him back."  
  
Rosie shook her head again.  
  
Tansy breathed painfully and added, "I've made my decision. I cannot stay here."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I need to leave."  
  
"Why? Tansy, please, I beg you not to be so rash about leaving. This is your home--,"  
  
"No. Not without Frodo."  
  
"I don't believe he's gone."  
  
"He's gone, Rosie! He made the decision to go and leave us. I ask you, what is here for me and Calla? Nothing but pain. Well, I've had enough of it. You understand? I've had enough!"  
  
Rosie didn't agree with Tansy leaving. But as she nodded, the barmaid understood Tansy's frustration.  
  
"When are you leaving? And...where will you go?"  
  
"I thought about buying a home in Bree. If all goes well, I plan on leaving in a few days."  
  
"A few days? Shouldn't you give yourself time? And what about Calla, she's been getting along so well with Elanor."  
  
Tansy sighed, blinking back her tears she repressed. Tired of them leaving their annoying sticky trails on her cheeks.  
  
"I thought about Calla. I know it won't be easy for her, getting use to another home. But I cannot stay here. We'll make sure to visit so Calla can play with Elanor."  
  
Rosie extended her arms toward Tansy who stepped gratefully into Mrs. Gamgee's embrace.  
  
Again Tansy felt her tears stir and burn.  
  
_No. I won't cry. I won't.  
_  
And Tansy didn't, mentally patting herself on the shoulder for the victory she had over her pain.

* * *

Mrs. Baggins shuddered at the September night chill that was most unwelcome inside the hole. She set the lantern on top of the desk and bundled under one of her crocheted shawls that draped around her shoulders. Tansy strolled over to her bed and before she sat down, the ajar door creaked open. Calla tiptoed inside.  
  
Tansy gazed at her daughter whose red curls spiraled down to her chin. She scurried over to the bed. Her crystal clear blue eyes widened and beamed at her mother. Uncanny, Tansy thought of Calla. Every time she looked at her daughter she saw Frodo. The more she grew, the more Calla was the spitting image of her father. Since Tansy entered the room, she tried to silence her thoughts that raged in her mind.  
  
_Daddy was right. He warned me about leaving home. Why did I go? Farmer Cotton, why did you have to find me that morning? Why...  
  
You wish you hadn't met Frodo? Oh, Tansy, don't think such a thing.  
  
But he left us. He's gone!  
_  
Tansy blinked and looked at Calla again. She had to think of her daughter, the gift Frodo had given her, though he had to leave again.  
  
Never to return.  
  
_How can I ever understand the pain you've suffered, Frodo. Who can? All I could do is be there for you. Comfort you and tell you that everything will be all right, because we're together. But...it wasn't enough. If by going to Valinor you will have peace, then let it be so.  
  
_"Mummy?" said Calla softly.  
  
Jarred from the battle of her thoughts. A momentary cease fire. Tansy blinked once more and this time she gave Calla a warm smile.  
  
"Yes?" said Tansy. She grasped Calla's tiny hand and guided her around to the side of the bed where Tansy slept.  
  
"Can I sleep with you tonight?" Calla asked as she climbed onto the bed.  
  
"Yes, you may!"  
  
Tansy shifted herself back against the propped pillows.  
  
Calla followed and snuggled beside her.  
  
"Mummy, where's daddy?"  
  
Tansy hesitated from answering that question. What could she say? In her mind she fumbled for the words.  
  
"There he is!"  
  
Those words jolted Tansy to look up in the direction near the door. Seeing no one there and confused at what Calla was talking about until she saw her daughter's finger poking into the pillow on the other side of the bed.  
  
"He's here, sleeping," said Calla, giggling at her invisible daddy.  
  
Tansy circled her arms around Calla, snuggling closer.  
  
"Yes," whispered Tansy while she gently rocked her daughter, thinking of Frodo on the ship. "He's sleeping."

* * *

During mid-day of September 29, Tansy rode on a cart into Bree. Though the streets of Bree had been busy with big folk and several hobbits hustling about, Tansy tried to make sense of the eerie calm that seemed to stalk her.  
  
_What is it that haunts me on this day?  
  
_Something else, or rather someone stalked her as she rode past the townhouses that towered over her. Curiosity about this hobbit prompted Tansy to stop the cart. She wondered if he too would stop and so he did. The hobbit was donned in an elaborate waistcoat and breeches—russet like the color of fall leaves back in the woods near Bag End. He pretended to stop at a vendor selling pumpkins and other various fruit. And then Tansy caught him peeking her way. She smirked when he saw that he was caught. But her smirk morphed into a frown while watching him, hands tucked inside his pockets as he stepped into the street and crossed toward the cart.  
  
He smiled cheerily. "Good-day!"  
  
Tansy looked down at the lad whose butterscotch curls blew effortlessly in the slight breeze sneaking by.  
  
"Good-day," she said with a straight face, cautious about this stranger.  
  
He continued to smile despite her frigid demeanor.  
  
"Welcome to Bree. I'm Rory Hortlebower of Staddle."  
  
Reluctant at first, and then Tansy gave in to his welcome.  
  
"I'm Tansy--," she halted, realizing it would be mistake to mention Baggins. Tansy was certain that most who dwelled in Bree knew about Frodo. She couldn't pretend to be of any blood relation to the Baggins family. And she dare not say she was his wife. They would want to know why she wanted to live apart from him. She went on to say, "Puddifoot. Tansy Puddifoot."  
  
"I'm sorry if I seem too forward Miss Puddifoot. Being I've never seen you around here, I wanted to welcome you."  
  
"Well," said Tansy, smiling a little. "Thank you very much."  
  
"Anyone here you're visiting?"  
  
"No one. I'm here because I'm looking for a place to live."  
  
His emerald-green eyes perked. "Really? Well, I happen to know of a few available holes in Staddle, not far from here. If you permit me, I will show them to you."  
  
Tansy bit her bottom lip.  
  
Should I go? He's a stranger but if he knows a good place for me to live, then...  
  
"All right, Mr. Hortlebower," said Tansy, smiling again. "Take me to Staddle."  
  
She slid over and allowed him to take the reigns.  
  
"A pleasure," said Mr. Hortlebower and when he yanked the reigns, the horse started down the cobble stone street.  
  
"Ah, what a beautiful day it is," he cheered. "Did you get a chance to see the sunrise?"  
  
"No. I'm not usually up that early," answered Tansy, not as enthusiastic about the sunrise. There was a time when she greeted the sun with such joy. Now, she could not see it, though it blazed down at her and she felt its warmth, it might as well be raining.  
  
She caught him again, sneaking a glance at her. Tansy sensed he had been aware of her distant behavior and then she made an effort to be friendly. After all, he seemed knowledgeable about the holes. And she needed to get away from Bag End. The longer she stayed, the pain worsened.  
  
She continued the conversation with, "I've heard there were several hobbit families living in Staddle, though I can't say I know much about the Hortlebowers."  
  
"My family was originally from Nobottle. Then they settled here many years ago. My father built several holes, those I'm taking you to see. I inherited the property and I've sold a few holes to families who are very pleased to live in Staddle. I hope it would be of your liking as well."  
  
A soft grin swept across her lips. "I'm sure it will be."  
  
Her eyes remained on Mr. Hortlebower and for a brief moment, she thought she saw Frodo sitting beside her, tugging at the reigns and whistling his favorite 'merry old inn' tune.  
  
"Are you all right, Miss Puddifoot?"  
  
"Huh?" said Tansy as if she was far, far away and now jarred back to the present.  
  
"I said are you all right?"  
  
"Yes, I—I'm fine."  
  
"Here we are," Mr. Hortlebower announced excitedly, "Staddle."  
  
They entered the village and rode past homes so enormous to them but comfortable for the big folk. Then as they rode into pastures that had been carpeted with vibrant colors of fall, the cart trudged up one of the hills that led them to many hobbit holes.  
  
Rory slowed the cart in front of one of the holes that reminded her so much of her own home in Bag End.  
  
He turned to face her. "That's number one, where I live. But before I show you the others, there are smaller holes for those who don't have a family. You're alone aren't you?"  
  
Tansy shook her head. "I have a two year old daughter."  
  
"Ah, so you have a family. Why isn't your husband with you?"  
  
Tansy swallowed hard against her parched throat.  
  
"He, uh—he's no longer with us."  
  
Mr. Hortlebower frowned. "Oh, I'm so sorry."  
  
"You see," she started while the breeze peeled her curls away from Tansy's face. "That is why I want to leave Bag End. After my husband--," Her tears threatened to come and again Tansy fought them back. "I can't bear to live there anymore."  
  
"I understand. I'm sure it isn't easy, having to take care of your daughter without your husband."  
  
Tansy gazed deep into Rory's green eyes, searching for the reason as to why he befriended her the way he did. And then her hobbit sense alerted her to something that stirred her uneasy feelings about him.  
  
"I, uh—I should go back."  
  
Surprised by her sudden change of mind, he quickly said, "Go back? But I haven't shown you the holes yet?"  
  
"I know and I apologize for having you bring me here. I just—I just don't feel well all of a sudden."  
  
"All right. Can I take you home then?"  
  
"No," She couldn't let him see her home. Tansy was certain he knew of the Baggins hole and after realizing she practically shouted at him, Tansy softened her voice. "No need for that. You've done enough already. I appreciate your hospitality."  
  
Rory bounded off the cart and circled around to the passenger side where she sat.  
  
Assuring her he wasn't upset, he bid farewell with a warm smile.  
  
"When you're feeling better, I'll show you the holes then. Send me a note and we can set up a time when it's more convenient for you."  
  
"I will." Tansy shifted herself back onto the driver's seat. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Hortlebower."  
  
He tilted his head slightly. "A pleasure meeting you, too, Miss Puddifoot."  
  
Tansy directed the horse to turn around and head back on the path. She turned her head only a little and could see him standing outside his hole, watching her.  
  
_What is it about him?  
  
"I'm sure it isn't easy, having to take care of your daughter without your husband..."  
  
What am I thinking? Oh, Frodo. Frodo...  
  
_Tansy sniffed. She didn't know how long she could go on without crying. How could she go on without Frodo? But she had to.

* * *

When Tansy returned to her hole in Bag End, she hung up her cloak. The hickory aroma of sausages spoke to her empty stomach that responded with its rumbling. Food wasn't the only thing to greet her. Calla and Elanor sped toward Tansy and collided into her stomach. Both girls entwined their arms around her stout waist.  
  
"We missed you, mummy," Calla exclaimed.  
  
Tansy knelt in front of them. "Did you now? Well--," She gave them a warm, brief kiss on their foreheads. "I missed you too."  
  
Mrs. Baggins rose onto her feet. "Let's see what Rosie is cooking."  
  
They followed her into the kitchen where Rosie took a pan out of the hearth. She placed it onto the table and stirred what looked like barbecue sauce over the sausages. She looked up and greeted Tansy with a wide grin.  
  
"How did it go?" asked Rosie.  
  
"Well," Tansy faltered. Disappointed. "I didn't—I mean, I'll try another day."  
  
Puzzled, Rosie asked, "What happened?"  
  
"I met someone in Bree. Rory Hortlebower is his name. He owns property in Staddle where he offered to show me some available holes. Beautiful they were but...you're right, Rosie. I should give myself more time."  
  
Rosie smiled and nodded. She hoped Tansy would change her mind and stay. She also wondered why her friend seemed very uncomfortable when she mentioned Rory Hortlebower. The name didn't sound at all familiar. What happened when Tansy met him?  
  
"Dinner is ready," said Rosie, trying to keep up with her optimistic facade despite the heavy gloom in the atmosphere around them.  
  
All Tansy could do at the moment was thank Rosie with a grateful smile.

* * *

On a brisk October day, the 6th it was, Tansy drew in a deep, painful breath as she stood on the harbor of the Grey Havens. Her eyes sorrowfully examined the tranquility of the water and then they ambled up to the horizon ahead. The evening sun spread its light across the sky and above the sea, casting a soft crimson glow upon her face. White gulls called to one another as they circled high in the air, playing tag it seemed.  
  
Tansy kept her unwavering gaze on the horizon and imagined that she could see the ship. It slowly drifted further toward the West. And as it drifted away from her, Tansy could not stop her tears anymore. One journeyed down her cheek, followed by another.  
  
She shook her head in disbelief.  
  
"No," Mrs. Baggins mumbled, "You can't be gone. You can't--,"  
  
Tansy blinked and it occurred to her that she wasn't standing on the harbor, but in the woods near Bag End. Chilly air pushed against the hood that covered her hair as she looked up and around her.  
  
_I'm going mad. Please, don't let me go mad.  
  
_Tansy continued her forlorn stroll through the lonely woods. Her feet shuffled through a heap of gold, crimson and chestnut leaves. She didn't bother to wipe the streaks of tears on her face.  
  
"Why are you weeping?"  
  
Tansy froze. Did she hear a voice? A familiar voice, soft and pleasant.  
  
_You're mad. There's no one around.  
  
_She continued on.  
  
"You don't need to fear anymore."  
  
Tansy halted again. She swung around. Her frantic eyes searched the woods.  
  
"Frodo?"  
  
Slowly, Tansy headed back in the opposite direction.  
  
"Frodo?" she repeated. Her pace quickened.  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
Trees and falling leaves spun around her as she searched.  
  
Searching until her gaze locked upon the apple tree. Tansy didn't dare breath when glimpsing part of a cloak that waved in the wind. Then she allowed herself to breathe. Her chest rose and fell in an erratic manner while stumbling nervously toward the tree.  
  
Tansy stopped short, leaving a small space between her, the tree and whoever this person was. Is he only pretending to be Frodo? Or was it just another delusion?  
  
"You want me to find you now?"  
  
Tansy shivered. Tears continued their way down her cheeks. She remembered when they played together that first day of summer, when he asked her those words.  
  
By now, Tansy shivered so uncontrollably she didn't think she could utter what she had replied to him on that day.  
  
Finally the words broke past her trembling lips. "If you—can."  
  
Tansy slumped back against the tree.  
  
"If you--," she stammered, "If you can reach my hand...then you win."  
  
Please, oh please let it be you, Frodo.  
  
Tansy stretched her hand around the tree. Her fingers inched along the grooves, longing to touch him, if he in fact was really there.  
  
She halted from breathing again when feeling a hand—a hand that only had four fingers.  
  
And as those fingers grasped her hand, Tansy shut her eyes as tight as she could. More tears streamed down across freckles on her cheeks. She felt herself tugged gently around the tree until...  
  
"Tansy, look at me."  
  
She slowly opened her eyes, and her legs almost sank beneath her when she stared into the face of a hobbit that was Frodo Baggins.  
  
"I found you," he said in his usual charming, soft voice and smiled.  
  
"Frodo..." Tansy uttered, barely audible.  
  
He reached for the hood on Tansy's cloak, peeling it away from her face and uncovered her head.  
  
Frodo cradled his wife's face in his hands.  
  
"During the journey to the Grey Havens," he began, "I thought of you each day. I thought about when you read the letter. I hoped you understood that I needed to go. I stood at the harbor and before I stepped onto the ship, I looked back. In my mind I saw you and Calla waiting for me. I couldn't leave you again. I love you both...so much."  
  
Tansy touched his lips with the tips of her fingers.  
  
"We love you, too."  
  
She caved into his arms. And there they remained for a while, just like they had done on that first day of summer. Except this time they cried joyous tears that were caught by the wind and carried away through a golden canopy of rustling leaves.That night, Frodo and Tansy had much to talk about while they sat up in bed. Then he grew tired and slept upon her lap. A flame, dancing lively inside the lantern had been blown out. Slinking its way through the window, through darkness came moonlight. Tansy watched the moon looking down on Frodo, bathing the frail hobbit in its light as if to comfort him.  
  
She pondered about their future. What will the next day bring? Will there be more nightmares? Or days when his illnesses plague him again?  
  
For now, Tansy slid her fingers through his hair.  
  
"Sleep," she whispered. "Dream of the Shire, of all things that are wonderful."Outside the window, night faded into day. Leaves withered and left bare branches. Snow came and all throughout the Shire were white branches, cold and longing for spring. Birds sang melodiously, announcing the coming of spring. And the trees were happy again. Buds sprouted into fresh green leaves. Flowers bloomed and breathed the refreshing spring air.

* * *

In the morning of mid-May, Tansy woke earlier than usual. While Frodo slept, she stood at the window. The sun would rise soon. She remembered when Mr. Hortlebower told her about the sunrise, how beautiful it is. And there it was. She marveled at the first splinters of crimson light that peeked over the distant hills of the Shire. And as it rose higher in the powder blue sky, she felt its warmth on her skin. It didn't hide behind imaginary rain clouds. And Tansy welcomed it gratefully.During the afternoon, it was a beautiful day indeed, warm and pleasant enough for a picnic in Bywater at the pond. The willow tree swayed cheerfully above a large sunflower-yellow blanket stretched across the grass. Lots and lots of food decorated the blanket with much tea to drink. The Gamgees were there with Elanor. While they sat on the blanket, Sam and Rosie enjoyed watching Elanor play with Calla. Both girls giggled and frolicked on the grass. Merry and Pippin were also there, eating heartily with Diamond and Estella sitting beside them.  
  
Tansy sat with them, laughing at Merry and Pippin's jokes. Then it dawned on her...Frodo was gone. She looked up and saw him standing alone at the cliff. Tansy uncrossed her legs and jumped onto her feet. As she strode toward him, she could see he appeared to be lost in deep thought. Tansy stopped and then she continued on, standing beside him.  
  
"Frodo?" she said and followed his gaze across the shimmering water.  
  
For a moment, she panicked. That annoying question taunted her.  
  
_Did he regret his decision to stay?  
  
_"Frodo?" Tansy called again.  
  
As if snapping out of a daydream, his eyes rolled to meet hers.  
  
Tansy said, "It was our wedding night. I was afraid and remember what you told me? You said, it's all right."  
  
She reached for his four-fingered hand, taking it into his own.  
  
"It's all right, Frodo."  
  
He grinned and gently squeezed her hand.  
  
"Come on," he said, "I'm hungry again for more of those strawberry cakes."  
  
Frodo walked back to the blanket with Tansy. He sat beside her. Listened to the jokes, joining in with the laughter. And his eyes fell upon the platter where he chose one of the cakes. He chewed off a small piece while watching Tansy. Amazed at how much she had grown. Grateful for the love she had given him.  
  
He showed his appreciation with a tiny smile that formed in the corner of his lips. In his mind, he heard Tansy whisper...  
  
_"It's all right, Frodo."  
  
_And he remembered another thing she had said. Was it something long ago or in a dream? That he could not say, but the words sang to him, like a sweet lullaby.  
  
_"Sleep. Dream of the Shire...of all things that are wonderful."  
_**The End **


End file.
